Born British, fought American, surrendered French

Statues of His Right Leg in Saratoga: 1

Overrated Egg Dishes Not Named After: 1

That...weird guy from Conan O'Brien's show?

Not that...jackass who interrupts all the time?

He's the...absolute worst?

Fictional Great White Shark

Haunt: Amity Island

Achilles Heel: CO2 tanks, Paul Newman

Not-so-serious Minister of the Afterlife

Enjoys: Golf, Edward James Olmos

Maintain. Come on, Death. You can do this.

Yankee Great

Doubles power: Waning

Double chin: Waxing

Spanish Inquisitor

Idea of a good time: Coerced confessions

Dark secret: Jewish ancestry

Sakan King

Leader of the Pointed Cap Wearers

Defeated by Persian King Darius I

President of Zimbabwe

Beacon of incompetency

When things get funny, print more money

Fictional Egg Man

Sat on a wall

Was let down by all the king's horses and all the king's men

Inanimate apparatus of ease

Fleet-footed food ferryer

Possibly bipolar

Prince of Denmark

Bad habit: Regicide

A bit touched in the head

Father, founder and 1st president of modern Turkey

Westernized the nation

Always wore a wooly hat, regardless of season

'Cause he's my butler

Locale: Beaver Falls, PA

First name: Lynn

Condemned Game Character

Pleads for: E or U

Prognosis: F_CK_D

The Ultimate Mancrush

Will NEVER believe it's not butter

THE male supermodel of the 80's, 90's, and today

Reformation-Era Pope

Rode the Papal Bull against Martin Luther

A man of many schisms

Apathetic New York Farmer

Slept for 20 years

Hometown: Small village in the Catskills

Soothing Late Night Character

Ooooooooooooooooo!

Raymond's here! Raymond's here!

Average Joe

Handy with a soldering iron

Is not properly dressed for work

3rd Roman Emperor

Nickname translation: Little Boots

Once appointed his horse to the Senate

Mancrush.com Special Correspondent

Resident expert of 80's and 90's pop culture

Secret shame: Didn't even finish "Oliver Twist"

Turnpike Cryptid

Farsighted

Vegan

Mythical Heckler

Mistake: Taunting Crucifixion-bound Jesus

Just deserts: Perpetual perambulation

Zulu Nation Leader

Major battle: Gqokli Hill

Preferred tactic: "Buffalo Horns"