Austrian Archaeologist

Discoverer of the Man Scrolls

Really digs this website

The Sage of Anacostia

Abolitionist, author, orator, statesman

Inspiring tale of perseverance

American novelist, essayist

Considers: Lobsters

Secret Identity: Math Weenie

Muscle-Cramping Equus ferus

Will strike your calf without remorse

First victim: Earth-bearing Atlas

Long-Lost Fourth Manning Brother

Team: Tampa Bay Buccaneers

Major: Philosophy

The Magical Car

Key abilities: Flight, floatation

Nemesis: Baron Bomburst, tyrant of Vulgaria

Reformation-Era Pope

Rode the Papal Bull against Martin Luther

A man of many schisms

Zulu Nation Leader

Major battle: Gqokli Hill

Preferred tactic: "Buffalo Horns"

Omnipresent Observer

Freedom is Slavery

Coming to a White House near you

Philistine Giant

Felled by David

Arguably the biggest Mancrush around

1980s Rock Icon

Hits: Pink Houses, Jack and Diane

Cougar dropped: 1991

Dr. Frankenstein's Monster

Enjoys: Wasting a minute of our time

In actuality: Was a caring, sensitive individual

Leader of the Chinese Communist Party 1949-1976

Fashion victim

What Chinese cats get from chasing mice...

Former Assistant to Mayor Dinkins

Serenity now, insanity later

Why can't you be more like Lloyd Braun?

The Molecular Man

El Hombre de los Moleculos

Brent Barker? Moleculo? Hahaha...

36th U.S. President

Became President after Kennedy was assassinated

2 words: Viet Nam

Early '90s Yankees Catcher

Career span: 10 seasons

Middle name: Dodge

American Author

Man without a country

So it goes.

Pittsburgh Pirates Legend

Gold Gloves: 5

Bat Type: Alka Seltzer

Egyptian Actor

Notable role: Dr. Zhivago

Sharif he don't like it

Last Khan of the Mongols & Emperor of China

Ancestor: Grandaddy Genghis

Palace: Extravagent

Sakan King

Leader of the Pointed Cap Wearers

Defeated by Persian King Darius I

Master of the Basepaths

Never takes the extra bag

Currently on 1st and 2nd

Turnpike Cryptid

Farsighted

Vegan