Investigative Reporter

Aliases: John Cocktosten, Mr. Poon, Arnold Babar

I'll have a steak sandwich...and a steak sandwich

West Virginian Cryptid

Friends: None

Idea of a good time: Creeping people out, yahtzee

The Molecular Man

El Hombre de los Moleculos

Brent Barker? Moleculo? Hahaha...

Khmer Rouge Leader

Rule: 1976 - 1979

True name: Saloth Sar

Pittsburgh Pirates Legend

Gold Gloves: 5

Bat Type: Alka Seltzer

King of the Franks

Founder of Holy Roman Empire

Wives: 5

The Man with the Axe

Inspiration: Caesar Augustus

Favorite Poker Hand: Follow the Queens

Average Joe

Handy with a soldering iron

Is not properly dressed for work

American Historian

Author of "The City in History"

Hometown: Flushing, NY

Philistine Giant

Felled by David

Arguably the biggest Mancrush around

King and Founder of the Persian Empire

Created the world's first human rights charter

Beard length: Moderate

The Magical Car

Key abilities: Flight, floatation

Nemesis: Baron Bomburst, tyrant of Vulgaria

der Fuhrer

Reich: Third

Fraulein: Eva Braun

Late Night's Least Popular Character

Naps in state

Whereabouts: Unknown

39th U.S. President

Known for the historic 1978 Camp David Accords.

The first American president born in a hospital.

Disaffected Office Worker

Pitiably respectable, incurably forlorn!

Would prefer not to.

Muscle-Cramping Equus ferus

Will strike your calf without remorse

First victim: Earth-bearing Atlas

3rd Roman Emperor

Nickname translation: Little Boots

Once appointed his horse to the Senate

Inanimate apparatus of ease

Fleet-footed food ferryer

Possibly bipolar

The Sage of Anacostia

Abolitionist, author, orator, statesman

Inspiring tale of perseverance

Master of the Basepaths

Never takes the extra bag

Currently on 1st and 2nd

Master of the Self-Evident

Quick to point out something you probably knew

Works for most corporations

Lord of Spaceball One

Desired speed: Ludicrous

Airshield combination: 1-2-3-4-5

Turnpike Cryptid

Farsighted

Vegan