Master of the Basepaths

Never takes the extra bag

Currently on 1st and 2nd

Investigative Reporter

Aliases: John Cocktosten, Mr. Poon, Arnold Babar

I'll have a steak sandwich...and a steak sandwich

West Virginian Cryptid

Friends: None

Idea of a good time: Creeping people out, yahtzee

King of the Huns

Primary foe: Roman Empire

Reputation: Subjective

Weekly World News Star

Has his own hit musical

Surprisingly can't get a job for a baseball team

Pope Responsible for the Great Schism

Bright idea: Moving the Vatican to France

Also found time to suppress the Knights Templar

The Personification of Time

Profound similarities to Grim Reaper

Last seen: Late night with Mother Nature

Loyal Spanish Noble

Defended Tarifa from the Moors and Portuguese

Immortalized by a Madrid Metro station

Will power: Lacking

Attire: Oversized Diaper

Theme: Sabre Dance

Leader of the Chinese Communist Party 1949-1976

Fashion victim

What Chinese cats get from chasing mice...

Ordered the Crucifixion of Jesus Christ

Founder of the Judean Peoples Front

Former member of the People's Front of Judea

Long-Lost Fourth Manning Brother

Team: Tampa Bay Buccaneers

Major: Philosophy

Philistine Giant

Felled by David

Arguably the biggest Mancrush around

Fiery Roman Emperor

Dynasty: Julio-Claudian

Mistake: Fiddling while Rome burned

der Fuhrer

Reich: Third

Fraulein: Eva Braun

Dr. Frankenstein's Monster

Enjoys: Wasting a minute of our time

In actuality: Was a caring, sensitive individual

Muscle-Cramping Equus ferus

Will strike your calf without remorse

First victim: Earth-bearing Atlas

WWII German Field Marshal

Also known as: The Desert Fox

Crucial battle lost: Normandy

1980s Rock Icon

Hits: Pink Houses, Jack and Diane

Cougar dropped: 1991

Mancrush.com Special Correspondent

Resident expert of 80's and 90's pop culture

Secret shame: Didn't even finish "Oliver Twist"

God is dead.

Stat: Generic

Rocken, Prussia

Gordon Bombay

Notable films: Young Guns, Breakfast Club

True surname: Sheen

President of Zimbabwe

Beacon of incompetency

When things get funny, print more money

Turnpike Cryptid

Farsighted

Vegan