Ancient Roman Consul and Dictator
Model of virtue and simplicity
Fasces in one hand, plow in the other
Donnie Baseball
New York, NY
Fictional Fibber
Desire: Real boyhood
Manhandler: Gepetto
Award Winning French Actor
Favorite actor of Fidel Castro
Memorable Films: Man in the Iron Mask
The Molecular Man
El Hombre de los Moleculos
Brent Barker? Moleculo? Hahaha...
Burgermeister of Sombertown
Dislikes toys and fun.
Kris Kringle nemesis
Slow-witted Yeti
AKA: Bumble
Least Favorite Movie: An Inconvenient Truth
36th U.S. President
Became President after Kennedy was assassinated
2 words: Viet Nam
Fictional Great White Shark
Haunt: Amity Island
Achilles Heel: CO2 tanks, Paul Newman
Apathetic New York Farmer
Slept for 20 years
Hometown: Small village in the Catskills
Prominent Aztec Deity
Name essence: Bird Serpent
Not to be confused with Hernan Cortes
Heady Metropolitans Mascot
Age: 43
Sexual preference: Ambiguous
Enlightenment Philosopher
Didn't do anything of note till age 40
His ideas are Rousseau hot right now
Zulu Nation Leader
Major battle: Gqokli Hill
Preferred tactic: "Buffalo Horns"
1980s Rock Icon
Hits: Pink Houses, Jack and Diane
Cougar dropped: 1991
Master of the Basepaths
Never takes the extra bag
Currently on 1st and 2nd
Naturally-Chiseled Granite Visage
Location: The Granite State
R.I.P. May 3, 2003
Former Assistant to Mayor Dinkins
Serenity now, insanity later
Why can't you be more like Lloyd Braun?
Last Khan of the Mongols & Emperor of China
Ancestor: Grandaddy Genghis
Palace: Extravagent
Muscle-Cramping Equus ferus
Will strike your calf without remorse
First victim: Earth-bearing Atlas
Investigative Reporter
Aliases: John Cocktosten, Mr. Poon, Arnold Babar
I'll have a steak sandwich...and a steak sandwich
The Personification of Time
Profound similarities to Grim Reaper
Last seen: Late night with Mother Nature
Ordered the Crucifixion of Jesus Christ
Founder of the Judean Peoples Front
Former member of the People's Front of Judea
Pharaoh of Egypt (1279 - 1213)
Began ruling in his early 20s
Born a lad, became a mummy
Deposed Despot
Hunger strike: 1 meal
Big-Screen Debut: South Park the Movie
American Historian
Author of "The City in History"
Hometown: Flushing, NY
Enigmatic Blood-Sucking Cryptid
Diet: Goats, assorted livestock
Doesn't get out as much as he should
Fictional Schoolmaster
Horse name: Gunpowder
Frightened by: Headless Horseman
American Politician
3rd Vice President of the United States
Outdueled Alexander Hamilton
Loyal Spanish Noble
Defended Tarifa from the Moors and Portuguese
Immortalized by a Madrid Metro station
Father, founder and 1st president of modern Turkey
Westernized the nation
Always wore a wooly hat, regardless of season
Lord of Spaceball One
Desired speed: Ludicrous
Airshield combination: 1-2-3-4-5
"I was saying boo-urns"
Age: 31
Good Moleman to you.
That...weird guy from Conan O'Brien's show?
Not that...jackass who interrupts all the time?
He's the...absolute worst?
Cancerous Character
Enjoys: One good spliff
Smoke 'em if you got 'em
President of Zimbabwe
Beacon of incompetency
When things get funny, print more money
Sakan King
Leader of the Pointed Cap Wearers
Defeated by Persian King Darius I
Lord Protector of England
Reign: 1653-1658
Government: Commonwealth
Alliterative Insulation Salesman
Foil: Inspector Clouseau
Do, do do, do do do do do do do do do dooooooooooo
King and Founder of the Persian Empire
Created the world's first human rights charter
Beard length: Moderate
Leader of the Chinese Communist Party 1949-1976
Fashion victim
What Chinese cats get from chasing mice...
Philistine Giant
Felled by David
Arguably the biggest Mancrush around
3rd Roman Emperor
Nickname translation: Little Boots
Once appointed his horse to the Senate
Mancrush Historian
Professor of Manthropology
Top three: Bob Dole, Cicero, Muhammad Ali
Disaffected Office Worker
Pitiably respectable, incurably forlorn!
Would prefer not to.
American novelist, essayist
Considers: Lobsters
Secret Identity: Math Weenie
Tammany Hall Proprietor
Imprisoned for: Shameless Embezzlement
Estimated amount stolen: $200 million
Khmer Rouge Leader
Rule: 1976 - 1979
True name: Saloth Sar
Weekly World News Star
Has his own hit musical
Surprisingly can't get a job for a baseball team
Long-Lost Fourth Manning Brother
Team: Tampa Bay Buccaneers
Major: Philosophy