Enlightenment Philosopher

Didn't do anything of note till age 40

His ideas are Rousseau hot right now

Just popped in there

Summoned by: Gozer

Size: 12 stories

Aztec King

Vainly Awaited: Quetzalcoatl

Defeated by: Cortes

"Hey, it's Enrico Pallazzo!"

Stat: Generic

Location: mancrush.com

Colorful Character

Arranges himself in decreasing wavelengths

Sentenced to life in prism

It's a trap!

Race: Mon Calamari

Force: Rebel Alliance

He is Keith Hernandez

Off-Color Comments: 1

Needs help moving.

The Dude Abides

Sometimes there's a man...

Recreation: Bowling, acid flashbacks

The Ultimate Mancrush

Will NEVER believe it's not butter

THE male supermodel of the 80's, 90's, and today

West Virginian Cryptid

Friends: None

Idea of a good time: Creeping people out, yahtzee

Fictional Great White Shark

Haunt: Amity Island

Achilles Heel: CO2 tanks, Paul Newman

Disaffected Office Worker

Pitiably respectable, incurably forlorn!

Would prefer not to.

Omnipresent Observer

Freedom is Slavery

Coming to a White House near you

Tammany Hall Proprietor

Imprisoned for: Shameless Embezzlement

Estimated amount stolen: $200 million

Burgermeister of Sombertown

Dislikes toys and fun.

Kris Kringle nemesis

39th U.S. President

Known for the historic 1978 Camp David Accords.

The first American president born in a hospital.

Fictional Egg Man

Sat on a wall

Was let down by all the king's horses and all the king's men

King of the Huns

Primary foe: Roman Empire

Reputation: Subjective

Holds many strong opinions

Jobs Held: 1,348

Madison, WI

Prominent Aztec Deity

Name essence: Bird Serpent

Not to be confused with Hernan Cortes

Apathetic New York Farmer

Slept for 20 years

Hometown: Small village in the Catskills

Fictional 70's Detective

Relies on: Polish proverbs

Seasons: 4

Lord of Spaceball One

Desired speed: Ludicrous

Airshield combination: 1-2-3-4-5

Former Panamanian General

Propped up by: CIA

Imprisoned in: Miami, FL

Khmer Rouge Leader

Rule: 1976 - 1979

True name: Saloth Sar

Diminutive Scandinavian

Expert on: Golf, Auto Racing, Fishing, Baseball

Height: Roughly 4 ft.

American Singer/Songwriter

Passes time: At the Copa, Copacabana

True moniker: Barry Alan Pincus

Lord Protector of England

Reign: 1653-1658

Government: Commonwealth

Will power: Lacking

Attire: Oversized Diaper

Theme: Sabre Dance

American Historian

Author of "The City in History"

Hometown: Flushing, NY

Prince of Denmark

Bad habit: Regicide

A bit touched in the head

The Artist Formerly Known as Prince

Color: Purple

Game, blouses.

Inanimate apparatus of ease

Fleet-footed food ferryer

Possibly bipolar

Master of the Self-Evident

Quick to point out something you probably knew

Works for most corporations

Spanish Conquistador

First European to the Mississippi River

Like they wouldn't have found that anyway...

Enigmatic Blood-Sucking Cryptid

Diet: Goats, assorted livestock

Doesn't get out as much as he should

Troublemaker

Primary adversary: Mr. Wilson

Cartoon forefather of mischief

Fictional Scientist

Has the refractive index of air

Invisibility now, Insanity later

Not-so-serious Minister of the Afterlife

Enjoys: Golf, Edward James Olmos

Maintain. Come on, Death. You can do this.

Great White Whale

Nemesis: Captain Ahab

A metaphor for life, man

Alliterative Insulation Salesman

Foil: Inspector Clouseau

Do, do do, do do do do do do do do do dooooooooooo

The Man with the Axe

Inspiration: Caesar Augustus

Favorite Poker Hand: Follow the Queens

1980s Rock Icon

Hits: Pink Houses, Jack and Diane

Cougar dropped: 1991

Zulu Nation Leader

Major battle: Gqokli Hill

Preferred tactic: "Buffalo Horns"

King and Founder of the Persian Empire

Created the world's first human rights charter

Beard length: Moderate

Ordered the Crucifixion of Jesus Christ

Founder of the Judean Peoples Front

Former member of the People's Front of Judea

American novelist, essayist

Considers: Lobsters

Secret Identity: Math Weenie

Average Joe

Handy with a soldering iron

Is not properly dressed for work

Father of the Geodesic Dome

Spaceship Earth

Great Thinker and loved by hippies

36th U.S. President

Became President after Kennedy was assassinated

2 words: Viet Nam