Will power: Lacking
Attire: Oversized Diaper
Theme: Sabre Dance
Lord Protector of England
Aliases: John Cocktosten, Mr. Poon, Arnold Babar
I'll have a steak sandwich...and a steak sandwich
Holds many strong opinions
Jobs Held: 1,348
Weekly World News Star
Has his own hit musical
Surprisingly can't get a job for a baseball team
Hunger strike: 1 meal
Big-Screen Debut: South Park the Movie
Fiery Roman Emperor
Mistake: Fiddling while Rome burned
The Dude Abides
Sometimes there's a man...
Recreation: Bowling, acid flashbacks
The Magical Car
Key abilities: Flight, floatation
Nemesis: Baron Bomburst, tyrant of Vulgaria
The Sun God
Deity status: Omnipotent
Later merged with: Amun
Didn't do anything of note till age 40
His ideas are Rousseau hot right now
Early '90s Yankees Catcher
Career span: 10 seasons
Middle name: Dodge
Defeated Hector in the Battle of Troy
Guess where his one weakness is
That...weird guy from Conan O'Brien's show?
Not that...jackass who interrupts all the time?
He's the...absolute worst?
Honorable Young Gentleman
Location: In the Soup
Doing the Things a Particle Can
What's He Like: Not Important
Forms: Dot & Speck
First launch: March 16, 1926
He is Keith Hernandez
Off-Color Comments: 1
Needs help moving.
Age of Empires Unit
Cost: 35 wood, 40 gold
Ordered the Crucifixion of Jesus Christ
Founder of the Judean Peoples Front
Former member of the People's Front of Judea
Felled by David
Arguably the biggest Mancrush around
Nintendo Ice Hockey
Weaknesses: Speed, Agility, Erectile Disfunction
Strengths: Brute force, thick mustache
Former Assistant to Mayor Dinkins
Serenity now, insanity later
Why can't you be more like Lloyd Braun?
39th U.S. President
Known for the historic 1978 Camp David Accords.
The first American president born in a hospital.
Ancient Roman Consul and Dictator
Model of virtue and simplicity
Fasces in one hand, plow in the other
Notable role: Dr. Zhivago
Sharif he don't like it
Handy with a soldering iron
Is not properly dressed for work
Merry Old Soul
Enjoys: One good spliff
Smoke 'em if you got 'em
Master of the Self-Evident
Quick to point out something you probably knew
Works for most corporations
Not-so-serious Minister of the Afterlife
Enjoys: Golf, Edward James Olmos
Maintain. Come on, Death. You can do this.
Inanimate apparatus of ease
Fleet-footed food ferryer
Burgermeister of Sombertown
Dislikes toys and fun.
Kris Kringle nemesis
A Horse is a Horse
Of course, of course
He's a friggin talking horse!
"Hey, it's Enrico Pallazzo!"
Professor of Manthropology
Top three: Bob Dole, Cicero, Muhammad Ali
36th U.S. President
Became President after Kennedy was assassinated
2 words: Viet Nam
Mancrush.com Special Correspondent
Resident expert of 80's and 90's pop culture
Secret shame: Didn't even finish "Oliver Twist"
Zulu Nation Leader
Major battle: Gqokli Hill
Preferred tactic: "Buffalo Horns"
"I was saying boo-urns"
Good Moleman to you.
Apathetic New York Farmer
Slept for 20 years
Hometown: Small village in the Catskills
Prince of Wallachia
Master of the cruel and unusual
The Original Dracula
King and Founder of the Persian Empire
Created the world's first human rights charter
Beard length: Moderate
8th U.S. President
Nickname: Old Kinderhook
Only President with English as his second language
Expert on: Golf, Auto Racing, Fishing, Baseball
Height: Roughly 4 ft.
Mistake: Taunting Crucifixion-bound Jesus
Just deserts: Perpetual perambulation
'Cause he's my butler
Locale: Beaver Falls, PA
First name: Lynn
Rode the Papal Bull against Martin Luther
A man of many schisms
Dr. Frankenstein's Monster
Enjoys: Wasting a minute of our time
In actuality: Was a caring, sensitive individual
Discoverer: Eugene Dubois
Only consists of a femur, skull, and three teeth