Troublemaker

Primary adversary: Mr. Wilson

Cartoon forefather of mischief

Former Assistant to Mayor Dinkins

Serenity now, insanity later

Why can't you be more like Lloyd Braun?

Philistine Giant

Felled by David

Arguably the biggest Mancrush around

Tammany Hall Proprietor

Imprisoned for: Shameless Embezzlement

Estimated amount stolen: $200 million

Nintendo Ice Hockey

Weaknesses: Speed, Agility, Erectile Disfunction

Strengths: Brute force, thick mustache

Disaffected Office Worker

Pitiably respectable, incurably forlorn!

Would prefer not to.

Mythical Founder of Rome

Sustenance: She-wolf succoring

Overshadowed: Remus

Pope Responsible for the Great Schism

Bright idea: Moving the Vatican to France

Also found time to suppress the Knights Templar

He is Keith Hernandez

Off-Color Comments: 1

Needs help moving.

The Molecular Man

El Hombre de los Moleculos

Brent Barker? Moleculo? Hahaha...

Held major commands in the WWI and Africa

Accused of profiteering, and the murder of Mr Body

Last seen in the library with a candlestick

Will power: Lacking

Attire: Oversized Diaper

Theme: Sabre Dance

Gordon Bombay

Notable films: Young Guns, Breakfast Club

True surname: Sheen

Chilean Writer and Poet

Political views: Communist

Cuanto vive el hombre, por fin?

Baroque Sculptor and Architect

Rival: Francesco Borromini

Revolution: Ecstasy of St. Theresa

1980s Rock Icon

Hits: Pink Houses, Jack and Diane

Cougar dropped: 1991

Fiery Roman Emperor

Dynasty: Julio-Claudian

Mistake: Fiddling while Rome burned

Prehistoric Legal Counsel

Is often frightened and confused

"There is one thing I DO know..."

Controversial Essayist

Work in question: The Satanic Verses

Alias: Sal Bass

Prince of Denmark

Bad habit: Regicide

A bit touched in the head

der Fuhrer

Reich: Third

Fraulein: Eva Braun

Ancient Greek Javelin Champion

Record distance: 19.5 akainas

Subject of Manicles' Man Scrolls

Egyptian Actor

Notable role: Dr. Zhivago

Sharif he don't like it

Mancrush.com Special Correspondent

Resident expert of 80's and 90's pop culture

Secret shame: Didn't even finish "Oliver Twist"

Age of Empires Unit

Nationality: British

Cost: 35 wood, 40 gold

Master of the Self-Evident

Quick to point out something you probably knew

Works for most corporations

American Author

Man without a country

So it goes.

The Sage of Anacostia

Abolitionist, author, orator, statesman

Inspiring tale of perseverance

Omnipresent Observer

Freedom is Slavery

Coming to a White House near you

That...weird guy from Conan O'Brien's show?

Not that...jackass who interrupts all the time?

He's the...absolute worst?

Average Joe

Handy with a soldering iron

Is not properly dressed for work

West Virginian Cryptid

Friends: None

Idea of a good time: Creeping people out, yahtzee

"Hey, it's Enrico Pallazzo!"

Stat: Generic

Location: mancrush.com

Holds many strong opinions

Jobs Held: 1,348

Madison, WI

Master of the Basepaths

Never takes the extra bag

Currently on 1st and 2nd

Reformation-Era Pope

Rode the Papal Bull against Martin Luther

A man of many schisms

Sakan King

Leader of the Pointed Cap Wearers

Defeated by Persian King Darius I

1980's Phillies Star

Once traded for: Julio Franco

Middle name: Francis

Pittsburgh Pirates Legend

Gold Gloves: 5

Bat Type: Alka Seltzer

Not-so-serious Minister of the Afterlife

Enjoys: Golf, Edward James Olmos

Maintain. Come on, Death. You can do this.

Lord Protector of England

Reign: 1653-1658

Government: Commonwealth

36th U.S. President

Became President after Kennedy was assassinated

2 words: Viet Nam

Alliterative Insulation Salesman

Foil: Inspector Clouseau

Do, do do, do do do do do do do do do dooooooooooo

Deposed Despot

Hunger strike: 1 meal

Big-Screen Debut: South Park the Movie

Kool-Aid Mascot

Oh yeah!!!

Oh no...

Ordered the Crucifixion of Jesus Christ

Founder of the Judean Peoples Front

Former member of the People's Front of Judea

King of the Huns

Primary foe: Roman Empire

Reputation: Subjective

Investigative Reporter

Aliases: John Cocktosten, Mr. Poon, Arnold Babar

I'll have a steak sandwich...and a steak sandwich

President of Zimbabwe

Beacon of incompetency

When things get funny, print more money

King and Founder of the Persian Empire

Created the world's first human rights charter

Beard length: Moderate