Investigative Reporter
Aliases: John Cocktosten, Mr. Poon, Arnold Babar
I'll have a steak sandwich...and a steak sandwich
Signer of the Declaration of Independence
Associate Justice of the Supreme Court
Represented: Maryland
Austrian Archaeologist
Discoverer of the Man Scrolls
Really digs this website
Uncle Shelby
Location: Where the Sidewalk Ends
Best Song: A Boy Named Sue
Modernist Architect
Writer, atheist, name changer
Notable work: Notre-Dame-du-Haut
A Horse is a Horse
Of course, of course
He's a friggin talking horse!
Enigmatic Blood-Sucking Cryptid
Diet: Goats, assorted livestock
Doesn't get out as much as he should
WWII German Field Marshal
Also known as: The Desert Fox
Crucial battle lost: Normandy
Ancient Latin Orator
Name meaning: Chickpea
Nemesis: Marc Antony
Arcade Game Character
Dislikes: Apparitions
Clearly malnourished
The Artist Formerly Known as Prince
Color: Purple
Game, blouses.
Donnie Baseball
New York, NY
Fictional Sailor Man
Trademark tattoo: Anchor
Tonic: Spinach
Slow-witted Yeti
AKA: Bumble
Least Favorite Movie: An Inconvenient Truth
Great White Whale
Nemesis: Captain Ahab
A metaphor for life, man
It's a trap!
Race: Mon Calamari
Force: Rebel Alliance
The Magical Car
Key abilities: Flight, floatation
Nemesis: Baron Bomburst, tyrant of Vulgaria
Loyal Spanish Noble
Defended Tarifa from the Moors and Portuguese
Immortalized by a Madrid Metro station
Gordon Shumway!
Diet: Cats
Intergalactic flame: Rhonda
The Personification of Time
Profound similarities to Grim Reaper
Last seen: Late night with Mother Nature
God of Wine
Represented the benefits of intoxication
Greek name: Dionysus
King of the Huns
Primary foe: Roman Empire
Reputation: Subjective
Enlightenment Philosopher
Didn't do anything of note till age 40
His ideas are Rousseau hot right now
Gordon Bombay
Notable films: Young Guns, Breakfast Club
True surname: Sheen
Long-Lost Fourth Manning Brother
Team: Tampa Bay Buccaneers
Major: Philosophy
Mythical Ape-Man
Also known as: Sasquatch
Cousin: Yetti
Master of the Basepaths
Never takes the extra bag
Currently on 1st and 2nd
Cancerous Character
Enjoys: One good spliff
Smoke 'em if you got 'em
Mythical Founder of Rome
Sustenance: She-wolf succoring
Overshadowed: Remus
Diminutive Scandinavian
Expert on: Golf, Auto Racing, Fishing, Baseball
Height: Roughly 4 ft.
Age of Empires Unit
Nationality: British
Cost: 35 wood, 40 gold
Leader of the Chinese Communist Party 1949-1976
Fashion victim
What Chinese cats get from chasing mice...
1980s Rock Icon
Hits: Pink Houses, Jack and Diane
Cougar dropped: 1991
The Man with the Axe
Inspiration: Caesar Augustus
Favorite Poker Hand: Follow the Queens
Weekly World News Star
Has his own hit musical
Surprisingly can't get a job for a baseball team
Robin the Chicken-Hearted
Steer: Coconut Shells
Capital of Assyria: Unknown
The Sage of Anacostia
Abolitionist, author, orator, statesman
Inspiring tale of perseverance
Not-so-serious Minister of the Afterlife
Enjoys: Golf, Edward James Olmos
Maintain. Come on, Death. You can do this.
Muscle-Cramping Equus ferus
Will strike your calf without remorse
First victim: Earth-bearing Atlas
Bernie Bernie
Ohhh yeah, how you can throw
We gotta go: Super Bowl
The Sun God
Deity status: Omnipotent
Later merged with: Amun
Born British, fought American, surrendered French
Statues of His Right Leg in Saratoga: 1
Overrated Egg Dishes Not Named After: 1
Master of the Self-Evident
Quick to point out something you probably knew
Works for most corporations
Ancient Greek Javelin Champion
Record distance: 19.5 akainas
Subject of Manicles' Man Scrolls
Sakan King
Leader of the Pointed Cap Wearers
Defeated by Persian King Darius I
Pope Responsible for the Great Schism
Bright idea: Moving the Vatican to France
Also found time to suppress the Knights Templar
Fictional Egg Man
Sat on a wall
Was let down by all the king's horses and all the king's men
Prince of Denmark
Bad habit: Regicide
A bit touched in the head
Lord Protector of England
Reign: 1653-1658
Government: Commonwealth
That...weird guy from Conan O'Brien's show?
Not that...jackass who interrupts all the time?
He's the...absolute worst?