39th Vice President of the United States
Sneakiest Four Syllables in Washington
High crime and(or) misdemeanor: Tax evasion
The USS Constitution
Oldest commissioned ship still in service
Born: Boston, MA - 22 July 1798
Talent: Single Handedly Flipping Pizzas With Spear
Wants To Talk to You About: $5.00 Hot-N-Ready Deal
Type of Birth: Little Cesarian Section
Carthaginian Commander
Culled a crucial conquest at Cannae
Couldn't conclusively cover Carthage, ultimately
Fictional Scientist
Has the refractive index of air
Invisibility now, Insanity later
Mancrush Historian
Professor of Manthropology
Top three: Bob Dole, Cicero, Muhammad Ali
Homo Erectus
Age: 250,000 - 400,000 years
Hometown: Beijing, China
West Virginian Cryptid
Friends: None
Idea of a good time: Creeping people out, yahtzee
The Good Doctor
Life Work: Summa Theologica... all in Latin!
Name back at the monastery: The Dumb Ox
A Horse is a Horse
Of course, of course
He's a friggin talking horse!
Fictional Sailor Man
Trademark tattoo: Anchor
Tonic: Spinach
The Dude Abides
Sometimes there's a man...
Recreation: Bowling, acid flashbacks
Uber Tuber
Shaves faster than any man
Gets a little spud for Mrs. Potato Head
Anthropomorphic Steam Engine
Resides: Island of Sodor
Seasons: 10
Former Kentucky Derby Champion
Born and raised in Philadelphia, PA
More likely to become an adhesive than race again
Aztec King
Vainly Awaited: Quetzalcoatl
Defeated by: Cortes
18th century English Pirate
Vessel: Queen Anne's Revenge
Booty accumulated: Much
Prospector with Pick Axe Prowess
Seeks: Silver
Also Seeks: Gold
Macedonian Conqueror
Reign: 336-326 BC
Ways swung: Both
Bernie Bernie
Ohhh yeah, how you can throw
We gotta go: Super Bowl
Mythical Ape-Man
Also known as: Sasquatch
Cousin: Yetti
42nd U.S. President
Lewd Acts: 17
New York, NY
Kool-Aid Mascot
Oh yeah!!!
Oh no...
Fiery Roman Emperor
Dynasty: Julio-Claudian
Mistake: Fiddling while Rome burned
Spanish Inquisitor
Idea of a good time: Coerced confessions
Dark secret: Jewish ancestry
3rd Roman Emperor
Nickname translation: Little Boots
Once appointed his horse to the Senate
"Hey, it's Enrico Pallazzo!"
Stat: Generic
Location: mancrush.com
It's a trap!
Race: Mon Calamari
Force: Rebel Alliance
Mythical Heckler
Mistake: Taunting Crucifixion-bound Jesus
Just deserts: Perpetual perambulation
Roman Poet and Philosopher
Wrote De Rerum Natura
Possibly the world's first atheist
The Sun God
Deity status: Omnipotent
Later merged with: Amun
King Tut
Dynasty: 18th
Reign: 1333 BC- 1324 BC
Champaign Music Television Host
Show highlight: Bubble machine
Instrument of choice: Accordion
Fictional Fibber
Desire: Real boyhood
Manhandler: Gepetto
Surrealist
Best known work: The Persistence of Memory
Birthplace: Figueres, Spain
Mancrush.com Special Correspondent
Resident expert of 80's and 90's pop culture
Secret shame: Didn't even finish "Oliver Twist"
13th Century Mongol Overlord
Modern-day descendents: 17 million
Grave whereabouts: Unknown
Fictional Great White Shark
Haunt: Amity Island
Achilles Heel: CO2 tanks, Paul Newman
Great White Whale
Nemesis: Captain Ahab
A metaphor for life, man
Alliterative Insulation Salesman
Foil: Inspector Clouseau
Do, do do, do do do do do do do do do dooooooooooo
The Personification of Time
Profound similarities to Grim Reaper
Last seen: Late night with Mother Nature
Father, founder and 1st president of modern Turkey
Westernized the nation
Always wore a wooly hat, regardless of season
God is dead.
Stat: Generic
Rocken, Prussia
1980's Phillies Star
Once traded for: Julio Franco
Middle name: Francis
Uncle Shelby
Location: Where the Sidewalk Ends
Best Song: A Boy Named Sue
Merry Old Soul
Fiddlers: 3
Requested: Pipe,Bowl
#1 Cosmonaut
First man in space
Truly went where no man had gone before
Disaffected Office Worker
Pitiably respectable, incurably forlorn!
Would prefer not to.
Prolific Fruit Planter
Likes: Hard Cider
Dislikes: Oranges
Holds many strong opinions
Jobs Held: 1,348
Madison, WI