Spanish New World Explorer

Swath scoured: Southwest

Literal translation: Cow's head

Philosopher and Poet

Author of "The Prince"

The end justifies the means?

1800s Chinese Military Leader

Best known for: General Tso's Chicken

Given name: Zuo Zongtang

Lakota Sioux Leader

Routed: General Custer

Buried at: Fort Yates

Legendary Lumberjack

Best friend: Babe the blue ox

Notable creations: 10,000 lakes, Grand Canyon

Naturally-Chiseled Granite Visage

Location: The Granite State

R.I.P. May 3, 2003

Macedonian Conqueror

Reign: 336-326 BC

Ways swung: Both

Troublemaker

Primary adversary: Mr. Wilson

Cartoon forefather of mischief

Austrian Archaeologist

Discoverer of the Man Scrolls

Really digs this website

Renaissance Man

Notable work: Mona Lisa

Cleverly crafted: Shroud of Turin

Champaign Music Television Host

Show highlight: Bubble machine

Instrument of choice: Accordion

Ordered the Crucifixion of Jesus Christ

Founder of the Judean Peoples Front

Former member of the People's Front of Judea

American novelist, essayist

Considers: Lobsters

Secret Identity: Math Weenie

Gordon Shumway!

Diet: Cats

Intergalactic flame: Rhonda

Gordon Bombay

Notable films: Young Guns, Breakfast Club

True surname: Sheen

Heady Metropolitans Mascot

Age: 43

Sexual preference: Ambiguous

American Actor

Best known for playing Hawkeye Pierce on M*A*S*H

Author of Never Have Your Dog Stuffed

The H. is O.

Was so good in Miami Vice, The Eagles, Miami Vice

You eat like that.

Fictional Undercover Operative

Master of the art of surreptitiousness

Chicanery matched only by the Black Spy

Clairvoyant World Cup Star

AKA: El Pulpo Paul

Record: 8-0

Ambitious Roman

Back-Stabbing Friends: 1

Rome, circa 75 BC

13th Century Mongol Overlord

Modern-day descendents: 17 million

Grave whereabouts: Unknown

The Dude Abides

Sometimes there's a man...

Recreation: Bowling, acid flashbacks

1980's Phillies Star

Once traded for: Julio Franco

Middle name: Francis

Holds many strong opinions

Jobs Held: 1,348

Madison, WI

Kool-Aid Mascot

Oh yeah!!!

Oh no...

Prince of Denmark

Bad habit: Regicide

A bit touched in the head

Controversial Essayist

Work in question: The Satanic Verses

Alias: Sal Bass

Uncle Shelby

Location: Where the Sidewalk Ends

Best Song: A Boy Named Sue

WWII German Field Marshal

Also known as: The Desert Fox

Crucial battle lost: Normandy

Not-so-serious Minister of the Afterlife

Enjoys: Golf, Edward James Olmos

Maintain. Come on, Death. You can do this.

Zulu Nation Leader

Major battle: Gqokli Hill

Preferred tactic: "Buffalo Horns"

Conquistador

Primarily slaughtered: Aztecs

Mujer: La Malinche

'Cause he's my butler

Locale: Beaver Falls, PA

First name: Lynn

6th UN Secretary General

Nationality: Egyptian

English translation: Peter Peter Ghali

Egyptian Actor

Notable role: Dr. Zhivago

Sharif he don't like it

West Virginian Cryptid

Friends: None

Idea of a good time: Creeping people out, yahtzee

Chinese Military Strategist

Author of The Art of War

Translation: "Master Sun"

Burgermeister of Sombertown

Dislikes toys and fun.

Kris Kringle nemesis

Nintendo Ice Hockey

Weaknesses: Speed, Agility, Erectile Disfunction

Strengths: Brute force, thick mustache

Pharaoh of Egypt (1279 - 1213)

Began ruling in his early 20s

Born a lad, became a mummy

Colorful Character

Arranges himself in decreasing wavelengths

Sentenced to life in prism

Sakan King

Leader of the Pointed Cap Wearers

Defeated by Persian King Darius I

Born British, fought American, surrendered French

Statues of His Right Leg in Saratoga: 1

Overrated Egg Dishes Not Named After: 1

Created sideburns, elevated facial hair to an Art.

Twice refused command of the Army of the Potomac.

Kicked ass for the greater glory of the Union.

Arcade Game Character

Dislikes: Apparitions

Clearly malnourished

Poet & Prophet

White college kids inspired: 235,711

February 6, 1945 - May 11, 1981

Slow-witted Yeti

AKA: Bumble

Least Favorite Movie: An Inconvenient Truth

Role Model

House volume: Full

Intimate with: Aunt Becky

King of the Franks

Founder of Holy Roman Empire

Wives: 5