The Sun God

Deity status: Omnipotent

Later merged with: Amun

Personification of the U.S.A

Wants YOU to join the U.S. Army

Is actually Canadian

Egyptian Actor

Notable role: Dr. Zhivago

Sharif he don't like it

Dutch Philosopher

Equated God and Nature as the same reality

Famous fans: Albert Einstein; Obi Wan Kenobi

1980's Phillies Star

Once traded for: Julio Franco

Middle name: Francis

Homo Erectus

Age: 250,000 - 400,000 years

Hometown: Beijing, China

Born British, fought American, surrendered French

Statues of His Right Leg in Saratoga: 1

Overrated Egg Dishes Not Named After: 1

13th Century Mongol Overlord

Modern-day descendents: 17 million

Grave whereabouts: Unknown

Prehistoric Legal Counsel

Is often frightened and confused

"There is one thing I DO know..."

Renowned Opera Singer

Expresses the plight of the common operaman

Side job: Security Guardo at Montgomery Wardo

Uber Tuber

Shaves faster than any man

Gets a little spud for Mrs. Potato Head

Uncle Shelby

Location: Where the Sidewalk Ends

Best Song: A Boy Named Sue

King of the Franks

Founder of Holy Roman Empire

Wives: 5

Icelandic Explorer

Discovery: North America

Leif Erikson Day: October 9th

Just popped in there

Summoned by: Gozer

Size: 12 stories

Ice-bound Waterbug

Rookie goals: 30

Nationality: Czech

The Hunchback of Notre Dame

Enjoys: Bell ringing, not hearing

Should probably see a chiropractor

Astronomer

Theory: Heliocentricity

Drank from: The vessel that stank

Gordon Shumway!

Diet: Cats

Intergalactic flame: Rhonda

"Hey, it's Enrico Pallazzo!"

Stat: Generic

Location: mancrush.com

Mythical Ape-Man

Also known as: Sasquatch

Cousin: Yetti

Bernie Bernie

Ohhh yeah, how you can throw

We gotta go: Super Bowl

Robin the Chicken-Hearted

Steer: Coconut Shells

Capital of Assyria: Unknown

Heady Metropolitans Mascot

Age: 43

Sexual preference: Ambiguous

Roman Emperor

Stoic philosopher

Reign: 161-180 AD

Held major commands in the WWI and Africa

Accused of profiteering, and the murder of Mr Body

Last seen in the library with a candlestick

33rd U.S. President

"The buck stops here"

Nuclear attacks authorized: 2

Cancerous Character

Enjoys: One good spliff

Smoke 'em if you got 'em

Steals Hamburgers

In Brazil, Hamburglar is known as the Papaburguer

Only says "Robble, robble, robble"

Omnipresent Observer

Freedom is Slavery

Coming to a White House near you

A Horse is a Horse

Of course, of course

He's a friggin talking horse!

Mythical Founder of Rome

Sustenance: She-wolf succoring

Overshadowed: Remus

Pittsburgh Pirates Legend

Gold Gloves: 5

Bat Type: Alka Seltzer

Roman Poet and Philosopher

Wrote De Rerum Natura

Possibly the world's first atheist

Age of Empires Unit

Nationality: British

Cost: 35 wood, 40 gold

Merry Old Soul

Fiddlers: 3

Requested: Pipe,Bowl

Roman Author, Philosopher, and Military Commander

Author of Naturalis Historia

Rescued victims of Mount Vesuvius by sea

The Dude Abides

Sometimes there's a man...

Recreation: Bowling, acid flashbacks

Late Night's Least Popular Character

Naps in state

Whereabouts: Unknown

Disaffected Office Worker

Pitiably respectable, incurably forlorn!

Would prefer not to.

Former Assistant to Mayor Dinkins

Serenity now, insanity later

Why can't you be more like Lloyd Braun?

Zulu Nation Leader

Major battle: Gqokli Hill

Preferred tactic: "Buffalo Horns"

Father, founder and 1st president of modern Turkey

Westernized the nation

Always wore a wooly hat, regardless of season

'Cause he's my butler

Locale: Beaver Falls, PA

First name: Lynn

Enlightenment Philosopher

Didn't do anything of note till age 40

His ideas are Rousseau hot right now

Prominent Aztec Deity

Name essence: Bird Serpent

Not to be confused with Hernan Cortes

39th U.S. President

Known for the historic 1978 Camp David Accords.

The first American president born in a hospital.

Not-so-serious Minister of the Afterlife

Enjoys: Golf, Edward James Olmos

Maintain. Come on, Death. You can do this.

He is Keith Hernandez

Off-Color Comments: 1

Needs help moving.

The Molecular Man

El Hombre de los Moleculos

Brent Barker? Moleculo? Hahaha...