Father, founder and 1st president of modern Turkey

Westernized the nation

Always wore a wooly hat, regardless of season

Mysterious, brooding actor of 21 Jump Street fame

Acadamy Award nominee for portayal of Jack Sparrow

Stirs up carnal feelings in women and men alike

Mancrush.com Special Correspondent

Resident expert of 80's and 90's pop culture

Secret shame: Didn't even finish "Oliver Twist"

Long-Lost Fourth Manning Brother

Team: Tampa Bay Buccaneers

Major: Philosophy

Astronomer

Theory: Heliocentricity

Drank from: The vessel that stank

Rocketman

First launch: March 16, 1926

Patents: 214

Prolific Fruit Planter

Likes: Hard Cider

Dislikes: Oranges

The Dude Abides

Sometimes there's a man...

Recreation: Bowling, acid flashbacks

Monocled Planters Mascot

Additional attire: Gloves, cane, top hat

Symbolizes: The fresh taste of nuts

The Hunchback of Notre Dame

Enjoys: Bell ringing, not hearing

Should probably see a chiropractor

Legendary Lumberjack

Best friend: Babe the blue ox

Notable creations: 10,000 lakes, Grand Canyon

He is Keith Hernandez

Off-Color Comments: 1

Needs help moving.

American Politician, Founding Father

First Chief Justice of the Supreme Court

Hometown: New York, NY

Ancient Greek Historian

Coined the term "Manus Crux"

Admired: Jeterius

Ancient Roman Consul and Dictator

Model of virtue and simplicity

Fasces in one hand, plow in the other

Merry Old Soul

Fiddlers: 3

Requested: Pipe,Bowl

Spanish New World Explorer

Swath scoured: Southwest

Literal translation: Cow's head

Icelandic Explorer

Discovery: North America

Leif Erikson Day: October 9th

Role Model

House volume: Full

Intimate with: Aunt Becky

8th U.S. President

Nickname: Old Kinderhook

Only President with English as his second language

Created sideburns, elevated facial hair to an Art.

Twice refused command of the Army of the Potomac.

Kicked ass for the greater glory of the Union.

King of the Huns

Primary foe: Roman Empire

Reputation: Subjective

Fictional Undercover Operative

Master of the art of surreptitiousness

Chicanery matched only by the Black Spy

Father of the Geodesic Dome

Spaceship Earth

Great Thinker and loved by hippies

God is dead.

Stat: Generic

Rocken, Prussia

Pithecanthropus Erectus

Discoverer: Eugene Dubois

Only consists of a femur, skull, and three teeth

Aztec King

Vainly Awaited: Quetzalcoatl

Defeated by: Cortes

Tammany Hall Proprietor

Imprisoned for: Shameless Embezzlement

Estimated amount stolen: $200 million

Enlightenment Philosopher

Didn't do anything of note till age 40

His ideas are Rousseau hot right now

Dr. Frankenstein's Monster

Enjoys: Wasting a minute of our time

In actuality: Was a caring, sensitive individual

Robin the Chicken-Hearted

Steer: Coconut Shells

Capital of Assyria: Unknown

Gordon Bombay

Notable films: Young Guns, Breakfast Club

True surname: Sheen

Fictional Great White Shark

Haunt: Amity Island

Achilles Heel: CO2 tanks, Paul Newman

Soothing Late Night Character

Ooooooooooooooooo!

Raymond's here! Raymond's here!

American novelist, essayist

Considers: Lobsters

Secret Identity: Math Weenie

Weekly World News Star

Has his own hit musical

Surprisingly can't get a job for a baseball team

Castillian Hombre

Real name: Rodrigo Diaz de Vivar

Chivalry: Second to none

Yankee Great

Doubles power: Waning

Double chin: Waxing

Gordon Shumway!

Diet: Cats

Intergalactic flame: Rhonda

1980s Rock Icon

Hits: Pink Houses, Jack and Diane

Cougar dropped: 1991

Essayist, Author

Author of 1984 and Animal Farm

Soldier in the Spanish Civil War

First emperor of the Roman Empire

Ruled from 27 BC to 14 AD

Namesake for the month of August

Holds many strong opinions

Jobs Held: 1,348

Madison, WI

1980's Phillies Star

Once traded for: Julio Franco

Middle name: Francis

Born British, fought American, surrendered French

Statues of His Right Leg in Saratoga: 1

Overrated Egg Dishes Not Named After: 1

13th Century Mongol Overlord

Modern-day descendents: 17 million

Grave whereabouts: Unknown

Slow-witted Yeti

AKA: Bumble

Least Favorite Movie: An Inconvenient Truth

Pharaoh of Egypt (1279 - 1213)

Began ruling in his early 20s

Born a lad, became a mummy

Not-so-serious Minister of the Afterlife

Enjoys: Golf, Edward James Olmos

Maintain. Come on, Death. You can do this.

Feline Shopkeeper

Home: Busytown

Progeny: Huckle Cat