American Politician

3rd Vice President of the United States

Outdueled Alexander Hamilton

Macedonian Conqueror

Reign: 336-326 BC

Ways swung: Both

Master of the Basepaths

Never takes the extra bag

Currently on 1st and 2nd

King of the Monsters

Preferred havoc locale: Tokyo

Japanese translation: Gorilla-Whale

Monocled Planters Mascot

Additional attire: Gloves, cane, top hat

Symbolizes: The fresh taste of nuts

Former Kentucky Derby Champion

Born and raised in Philadelphia, PA

More likely to become an adhesive than race again

It's a trap!

Race: Mon Calamari

Force: Rebel Alliance

Ancient Roman Consul and Dictator

Model of virtue and simplicity

Fasces in one hand, plow in the other

Diminutive Scandinavian

Expert on: Golf, Auto Racing, Fishing, Baseball

Height: Roughly 4 ft.

The Ultimate Mancrush

Will NEVER believe it's not butter

THE male supermodel of the 80's, 90's, and today

Signer of the Declaration of Independence

Associate Justice of the Supreme Court

Represented: Maryland

Arab Astronomer

Wrote The Manhabbas Verses

Era: Circa 700 CE

Enlightenment Philosopher

Didn't do anything of note till age 40

His ideas are Rousseau hot right now

King of the Huns

Primary foe: Roman Empire

Reputation: Subjective

Prominant Statesman, Admiral, and Snacker

Nickname: Homeslice

Cutlery used: None

Heady Metropolitans Mascot

Age: 43

Sexual preference: Ambiguous

Merry Old Soul

Fiddlers: 3

Requested: Pipe,Bowl

Uncle Shelby

Location: Where the Sidewalk Ends

Best Song: A Boy Named Sue

He is Keith Hernandez

Off-Color Comments: 1

Needs help moving.

Dutch Philosopher

Equated God and Nature as the same reality

Famous fans: Albert Einstein; Obi Wan Kenobi

Uber Tuber

Shaves faster than any man

Gets a little spud for Mrs. Potato Head

Mythical Ape-Man

Also known as: Sasquatch

Cousin: Yetti

Condemned Game Character

Pleads for: E or U

Prognosis: F_CK_D

Cancerous Character

Enjoys: One good spliff

Smoke 'em if you got 'em

Family Man

Passions: Sledding, lights, holiday cheer

The thing to say: Mona Kalikimaka

Last Khan of the Mongols & Emperor of China

Ancestor: Grandaddy Genghis

Palace: Extravagent

Kool-Aid Mascot

Oh yeah!!!

Oh no...

God is dead.

Stat: Generic

Rocken, Prussia

American novelist, essayist

Considers: Lobsters

Secret Identity: Math Weenie

1800s Chinese Military Leader

Best known for: General Tso's Chicken

Given name: Zuo Zongtang

Great White Whale

Nemesis: Captain Ahab

A metaphor for life, man

Fictional Undercover Operative

Master of the art of surreptitiousness

Chicanery matched only by the Black Spy

The Personification of Time

Profound similarities to Grim Reaper

Last seen: Late night with Mother Nature

Fictional Fibber

Desire: Real boyhood

Manhandler: Gepetto

Mythical Founder of Rome

Sustenance: She-wolf succoring

Overshadowed: Remus

Holds many strong opinions

Jobs Held: 1,348

Madison, WI

King of the Franks

Founder of Holy Roman Empire

Wives: 5

Philistine Giant

Felled by David

Arguably the biggest Mancrush around

Age of Empires Unit

Nationality: British

Cost: 35 wood, 40 gold

Aztec King

Vainly Awaited: Quetzalcoatl

Defeated by: Cortes

Fictional Great White Shark

Haunt: Amity Island

Achilles Heel: CO2 tanks, Paul Newman

Arcade Game Character

Dislikes: Apparitions

Clearly malnourished

Ice-bound Waterbug

Rookie goals: 30

Nationality: Czech

"Hey, it's Enrico Pallazzo!"

Stat: Generic

Location: mancrush.com

Ancient Greek Philosopher

Found guilty of corrupting the youth of Athens

Sentenced to death by drinking Hemlock

Lord Protector of England

Reign: 1653-1658

Government: Commonwealth

Controversial Essayist

Work in question: The Satanic Verses

Alias: Sal Bass

13th Century Mongol Overlord

Modern-day descendents: 17 million

Grave whereabouts: Unknown

Pharaoh of Egypt (1279 - 1213)

Began ruling in his early 20s

Born a lad, became a mummy

Omnipresent Observer

Freedom is Slavery

Coming to a White House near you