Spanish Conquistador

First European to the Mississippi River

Like they wouldn't have found that anyway...

Mysterious, brooding actor of 21 Jump Street fame

Acadamy Award nominee for portayal of Jack Sparrow

Stirs up carnal feelings in women and men alike

Icelandic Explorer

Discovery: North America

Leif Erikson Day: October 9th

The Dude Abides

Sometimes there's a man...

Recreation: Bowling, acid flashbacks

Dutch Philosopher

Equated God and Nature as the same reality

Famous fans: Albert Einstein; Obi Wan Kenobi

The Man Upstairs

Chairman of the Pearly Gates Condo Board

Smite 'em if you got 'em

Corps of Discovery Leader

Sidekick: William Clark

Cause of Death: Multiple Gunshots

Antarctic Expeditioner

Vessel: Endurance

Poles encountered: 1

Journalist, Author, Cynic

"The Sage of Baltimore"

Worthy man of ideas and inspirations

2nd U.S. President

Self-loathing Federalist

The Colossus of Independence

Fictional Sailor Man

Trademark tattoo: Anchor

Tonic: Spinach

Champaign Music Television Host

Show highlight: Bubble machine

Instrument of choice: Accordion

39th U.S. President

Known for the historic 1978 Camp David Accords.

The first American president born in a hospital.

Ol' St. Nick

List check frequency: 2x

Dark secrets: Child labor, voyeurism

The Hunchback of Notre Dame

Enjoys: Bell ringing, not hearing

Should probably see a chiropractor

Robin the Chicken-Hearted

Steer: Coconut Shells

Capital of Assyria: Unknown

Great White Whale

Nemesis: Captain Ahab

A metaphor for life, man

Ancient Greek Historian

Coined the term "Manus Crux"

Admired: Jeterius

Spanish New World Explorer

Swath scoured: Southwest

Literal translation: Cow's head

The Captain

Conveyance: Flying Shoe

In-flight Meal: Mulligan Stew

Arcade Game Character

Dislikes: Apparitions

Clearly malnourished

"Hey, it's Enrico Pallazzo!"

Stat: Generic

Location: mancrush.com

Prominent Aztec Deity

Name essence: Bird Serpent

Not to be confused with Hernan Cortes

Raconteur, Statesman, Horndog

Diplomat to: France

Kite discovery: Electricity

The USS Constitution

Oldest commissioned ship still in service

Born: Boston, MA - 22 July 1798

Steals Hamburgers

In Brazil, Hamburglar is known as the Papaburguer

Only says "Robble, robble, robble"

A Horse is a Horse

Of course, of course

He's a friggin talking horse!

The H. is O.

Was so good in Miami Vice, The Eagles, Miami Vice

You eat like that.

Fiery Roman Emperor

Dynasty: Julio-Claudian

Mistake: Fiddling while Rome burned

Roman Author, Philosopher, and Military Commander

Author of Naturalis Historia

Rescued victims of Mount Vesuvius by sea

Role Model

House volume: Full

Intimate with: Aunt Becky

Heady Metropolitans Mascot

Age: 43

Sexual preference: Ambiguous

Arab Astronomer

Wrote The Manhabbas Verses

Era: Circa 700 CE

Conquistador

Primarily slaughtered: Aztecs

Mujer: La Malinche

Obstinate Man Child

Refused to grow up

Currently CEO Peter Pan Bus Lines, Inc.

Castillian Hombre

Real name: Rodrigo Diaz de Vivar

Chivalry: Second to none

Renaissance Man

Notable work: Mona Lisa

Cleverly crafted: Shroud of Turin

Concerned Ursine Park Ranger

Age: 62

Cannot prevent forest fires

Signer of the Declaration of Independence

Associate Justice of the Supreme Court

Represented: Maryland

Fictional Egg Man

Sat on a wall

Was let down by all the king's horses and all the king's men

Renowned Highjumper

Inventor of the Fosbury Flop

1968 Gold Medalist

Lakota Sioux Leader

Routed: General Custer

Buried at: Fort Yates

Donnie Baseball

New York, NY

Uncle Shelby

Location: Where the Sidewalk Ends

Best Song: A Boy Named Sue

Macedonian Conqueror

Reign: 336-326 BC

Ways swung: Both

Fictional 70's Detective

Relies on: Polish proverbs

Seasons: 4

Malkovich Malkovich

Malkovich: Malkovich

Malkovich, Malkovich Malkovich?

Dutch Painter

Movement: De Stijl

Possibly guilty of being a square

Former Kentucky Derby Champion

Born and raised in Philadelphia, PA

More likely to become an adhesive than race again

Clairvoyant World Cup Star

AKA: El Pulpo Paul

Record: 8-0