Homo Erectus

Age: 250,000 - 400,000 years

Hometown: Beijing, China

Lord Protector of England

Reign: 1653-1658

Government: Commonwealth

Held major commands in the WWI and Africa

Accused of profiteering, and the murder of Mr Body

Last seen in the library with a candlestick

Obstinate Man Child

Refused to grow up

Currently CEO Peter Pan Bus Lines, Inc.

Ice-bound Waterbug

Rookie goals: 30

Nationality: Czech

Robin the Chicken-Hearted

Steer: Coconut Shells

Capital of Assyria: Unknown

Ol' St. Nick

List check frequency: 2x

Dark secrets: Child labor, voyeurism

King of the Monsters

Preferred havoc locale: Tokyo

Japanese translation: Gorilla-Whale

Great White Whale

Nemesis: Captain Ahab

A metaphor for life, man

Castillian Hombre

Real name: Rodrigo Diaz de Vivar

Chivalry: Second to none

13th U.S. President

Last Whig President

Highlight: The Compromise of 1850

Uber Tuber

Shaves faster than any man

Gets a little spud for Mrs. Potato Head

Aztec King

Vainly Awaited: Quetzalcoatl

Defeated by: Cortes

11th U.S. President

Party: Democratic

Campaign slogan: Fifty-Four Forty or Fight!

Founder of Jamestown

Native Seduced: Pocahontas

Portrayed by: Colin Farrel

Troublemaker

Primary adversary: Mr. Wilson

Cartoon forefather of mischief

The Ultimate Mancrush

Will NEVER believe it's not butter

THE male supermodel of the 80's, 90's, and today

Pittsburgh Pirates Legend

Gold Gloves: 5

Bat Type: Alka Seltzer

God of Wine

Represented the benefits of intoxication

Greek name: Dionysus

World renowned drawing by Leonardo da Vinci

Study of the proportions of the (male) human bod

On display at Gallerie dell Accademia in Venice

Pharaoh of Egypt (1279 - 1213)

Began ruling in his early 20s

Born a lad, became a mummy

The Artist Formerly Known as Prince

Color: Purple

Game, blouses.

American Politician

3rd Vice President of the United States

Outdueled Alexander Hamilton

Mythical Ape-Man

Also known as: Sasquatch

Cousin: Yetti

Nintendo Ice Hockey

Weaknesses: Speed, Agility, Erectile Disfunction

Strengths: Brute force, thick mustache

Prehistoric Legal Counsel

Is often frightened and confused

"There is one thing I DO know..."

Austere Soup Service Man

Favored dish: Mulligatawny Soup

No mancrush for you! Come back, one year!

Slow Moving Check Avoider

Secret Power: Castling

Dirty Secret: Prefers Checkers

Greek Hero

Defeated Hector in the Battle of Troy

Guess where his one weakness is

Steals Hamburgers

In Brazil, Hamburglar is known as the Papaburguer

Only says "Robble, robble, robble"

The Father of Medicine

Founded the Hippocratic School of Medicine

Rejected the divine origin

1980s Rock Icon

Hits: Pink Houses, Jack and Diane

Cougar dropped: 1991

Disaffected Office Worker

Pitiably respectable, incurably forlorn!

Would prefer not to.

Baroque Sculptor and Architect

Rival: Francesco Borromini

Revolution: Ecstasy of St. Theresa

Professionally Trained Voice Man

Doesn't care if he's Mr. Notorious Big.

Location: Somewhere in the mountains

Master of the Basepaths

Never takes the extra bag

Currently on 1st and 2nd

Donnie Baseball

New York, NY

1980's Phillies Star

Once traded for: Julio Franco

Middle name: Francis

Three's Company

Middle name: Southworth

Last film: Bad Santa

Colorful Character

Arranges himself in decreasing wavelengths

Sentenced to life in prism

38th U.S. President

Reputation for integrity and openness

Cleaned up after Nixon

Bernie Bernie

Ohhh yeah, how you can throw

We gotta go: Super Bowl

Father of Radio

Year of invention: 1895

Political views: Fascist

God is dead.

Stat: Generic

Rocken, Prussia

Icelandic Explorer

Discovery: North America

Leif Erikson Day: October 9th

The Man of Steel

Alternate occupation: Reporter

Favored heroin: Lois Lane

Anthropomorphic Steam Engine

Resides: Island of Sodor

Seasons: 10

Renowned Highjumper

Inventor of the Fosbury Flop

1968 Gold Medalist

Tammany Hall Proprietor

Imprisoned for: Shameless Embezzlement

Estimated amount stolen: $200 million

Legendary Lumberjack

Best friend: Babe the blue ox

Notable creations: 10,000 lakes, Grand Canyon