Austere Soup Service Man

Favored dish: Mulligatawny Soup

No mancrush for you! Come back, one year!

Corps of Discovery Leader

Sidekick: William Clark

Cause of Death: Multiple Gunshots

Obsessive-Compulsive Arithmomaniac

Resides: Sesame Street

When he's alone, he counts himself.

First emperor of the Roman Empire

Ruled from 27 BC to 14 AD

Namesake for the month of August

Castillian Hombre

Real name: Rodrigo Diaz de Vivar

Chivalry: Second to none

Fictional Egg Man

Sat on a wall

Was let down by all the king's horses and all the king's men

Award Winning French Actor

Favorite actor of Fidel Castro

Memorable Films: Man in the Iron Mask

Feline Shopkeeper

Home: Busytown

Progeny: Huckle Cat

Concerned Ursine Park Ranger

Age: 62

Cannot prevent forest fires

Malkovich Malkovich

Malkovich: Malkovich

Malkovich, Malkovich Malkovich?

Former Kentucky Derby Champion

Born and raised in Philadelphia, PA

More likely to become an adhesive than race again

Not-so-serious Minister of the Afterlife

Enjoys: Golf, Edward James Olmos

Maintain. Come on, Death. You can do this.

Roman Emperor

Stoic philosopher

Reign: 161-180 AD

Created sideburns, elevated facial hair to an Art.

Twice refused command of the Army of the Potomac.

Kicked ass for the greater glory of the Union.

The Hunter

Belt names: Saucepan, Magi, Three Kings

Still hunting Taurus after 1.5 million years

Merry Old Soul

Fiddlers: 3

Requested: Pipe,Bowl

Naturally-Chiseled Granite Visage

Location: The Granite State

R.I.P. May 3, 2003

He is Keith Hernandez

Off-Color Comments: 1

Needs help moving.

Heady Metropolitans Mascot

Age: 43

Sexual preference: Ambiguous

A Horse is a Horse

Of course, of course

He's a friggin talking horse!

39th Vice President of the United States

Sneakiest Four Syllables in Washington

High crime and(or) misdemeanor: Tax evasion

Condemned Game Character

Pleads for: E or U

Prognosis: F_CK_D

Prominant Statesman, Admiral, and Snacker

Nickname: Homeslice

Cutlery used: None

Occultist Everyman

Arcana: Major

Known For: Folly, Extravagance, Intoxication

Enlightenment Philosopher

Didn't do anything of note till age 40

His ideas are Rousseau hot right now

Spanish Inquisitor

Idea of a good time: Coerced confessions

Dark secret: Jewish ancestry

American Politician, Founding Father

First Chief Justice of the Supreme Court

Hometown: New York, NY

Icelandic Explorer

Discovery: North America

Leif Erikson Day: October 9th

Fictional Undercover Operative

Master of the art of subterfuge

Guile matched only by the White Spy

Troublemaker

Primary adversary: Mr. Wilson

Cartoon forefather of mischief

Lakota Sioux Leader

Routed: General Custer

Buried at: Fort Yates

Master of the Basepaths

Never takes the extra bag

Currently on 1st and 2nd

Carthaginian Commander

Culled a crucial conquest at Cannae

Couldn't conclusively cover Carthage, ultimately

God is dead.

Stat: Generic

Rocken, Prussia

Spanish New World Explorer

Swath scoured: Southwest

Literal translation: Cow's head

Babylonian King

Penal codes: 1

Babylon, Mesopotamia

Slow-witted Yeti

AKA: Bumble

Least Favorite Movie: An Inconvenient Truth

Lieutenant-Colonel T.E. Lawrence

Autobiography: Seven Pillars of Wisdom

Nationality: Scottish

1980's Phillies Star

Once traded for: Julio Franco

Middle name: Francis

Father, founder and 1st president of modern Turkey

Westernized the nation

Always wore a wooly hat, regardless of season

Fictional Undercover Operative

Master of the art of surreptitiousness

Chicanery matched only by the Black Spy

Greek Hero

Defeated Hector in the Battle of Troy

Guess where his one weakness is

Aztec King

Vainly Awaited: Quetzalcoatl

Defeated by: Cortes

Roman Author, Philosopher, and Military Commander

Author of Naturalis Historia

Rescued victims of Mount Vesuvius by sea

Deposed Despot

Hunger strike: 1 meal

Big-Screen Debut: South Park the Movie

Prominent Aztec Deity

Name essence: Bird Serpent

Not to be confused with Hernan Cortes

6th UN Secretary General

Nationality: Egyptian

English translation: Peter Peter Ghali

Former Panamanian General

Propped up by: CIA

Imprisoned in: Miami, FL

Renowned Opera Singer

Expresses the plight of the common operaman

Side job: Security Guardo at Montgomery Wardo

Tammany Hall Proprietor

Imprisoned for: Shameless Embezzlement

Estimated amount stolen: $200 million