Spanish Conquistador

First European to the Mississippi River

Like they wouldn't have found that anyway...

Austere Soup Service Man

Favored dish: Mulligatawny Soup

No mancrush for you! Come back, one year!

Occultist Everyman

Arcana: Major

Known For: Folly, Extravagance, Intoxication

Professionally Trained Voice Man

Doesn't care if he's Mr. Notorious Big.

Location: Somewhere in the mountains

9th U.S. President

Shortest Presidential Term in US History: 31 Days!

Mancrush-Worthy Nickname: Tippecanoe

11th U.S. President

Party: Democratic

Campaign slogan: Fifty-Four Forty or Fight!

Homo Erectus

Age: 250,000 - 400,000 years

Hometown: Beijing, China

Personification of the U.S.A

Wants YOU to join the U.S. Army

Is actually Canadian

39th Vice President of the United States

Sneakiest Four Syllables in Washington

High crime and(or) misdemeanor: Tax evasion

Roman Emperor

Stoic philosopher

Reign: 161-180 AD

Austrian Archaeologist

Discoverer of the Man Scrolls

Really digs this website

18th U.S. President

General-in-Chief Union Army

Esteemed and Conquered Foe: Robert E. Lee

The Extra-Terrestrial

Touch: Sensuous

Phone bill: Exorbitant

39th U.S. President

Known for the historic 1978 Camp David Accords.

The first American president born in a hospital.

38th U.S. President

Reputation for integrity and openness

Cleaned up after Nixon

French Writer & Philosopher

Age: Enlightenment

True name: Francois-Marie Arouet

Lord Protector of England

Reign: 1653-1658

Government: Commonwealth

Prehistoric Legal Counsel

Is often frightened and confused

"There is one thing I DO know..."

Yankee Great

Doubles power: Waning

Double chin: Waxing

Arab Astronomer

Wrote The Manhabbas Verses

Era: Circa 700 CE

Icelandic Explorer

Discovery: North America

Leif Erikson Day: October 9th

Legendary Lumberjack

Best friend: Babe the blue ox

Notable creations: 10,000 lakes, Grand Canyon

American Politician, Founding Father

First Chief Justice of the Supreme Court

Hometown: New York, NY

American Singer/Songwriter

Passes time: At the Copa, Copacabana

True moniker: Barry Alan Pincus

King of the Monsters

Preferred havoc locale: Tokyo

Japanese translation: Gorilla-Whale

Donnie Baseball

New York, NY

Elegant Fowl

Last Seen: Land of the Bong-Tree

Favorite Utensil: Runcible Spoon

Macedonian Conqueror

Reign: 336-326 BC

Ways swung: Both

Prominent Aztec Deity

Name essence: Bird Serpent

Not to be confused with Hernan Cortes

Fictional Undercover Operative

Master of the art of subterfuge

Guile matched only by the White Spy

Prospector with Pick Axe Prowess

Seeks: Silver

Also Seeks: Gold

Bernie Bernie

Ohhh yeah, how you can throw

We gotta go: Super Bowl

Naturally-Chiseled Granite Visage

Location: The Granite State

R.I.P. May 3, 2003

Fictional Fibber

Desire: Real boyhood

Manhandler: Gepetto

The Hunchback of Notre Dame

Enjoys: Bell ringing, not hearing

Should probably see a chiropractor

Robin the Chicken-Hearted

Steer: Coconut Shells

Capital of Assyria: Unknown

Three's Company

Middle name: Southworth

Last film: Bad Santa

Burgermeister of Sombertown

Dislikes toys and fun.

Kris Kringle nemesis

Ancient Greek Historian

Coined the term "Manus Crux"

Admired: Jeterius

Talent: Single Handedly Flipping Pizzas With Spear

Wants To Talk to You About: $5.00 Hot-N-Ready Deal

Type of Birth: Little Cesarian Section

Inanimate apparatus of ease

Fleet-footed food ferryer

Possibly bipolar

Carthaginian Commander

Culled a crucial conquest at Cannae

Couldn't conclusively cover Carthage, ultimately

Lunar Scout Pilot

Father: Ole Kirk Christiansen

Smile: Eternal

Not-so-serious Minister of the Afterlife

Enjoys: Golf, Edward James Olmos

Maintain. Come on, Death. You can do this.

The Dude Abides

Sometimes there's a man...

Recreation: Bowling, acid flashbacks

Corps of Discovery Leader

Sidekick: William Clark

Cause of Death: Multiple Gunshots

Heady Metropolitans Mascot

Age: 43

Sexual preference: Ambiguous

Fictional Undercover Operative

Master of the art of surreptitiousness

Chicanery matched only by the Black Spy

Fabled Fabler

Animal Allegory Animal

Lost Fable: Acidophylous and the Timid Tapeworm

Colorful Character

Arranges himself in decreasing wavelengths

Sentenced to life in prism