Roman Poet

Full name: Publius Ovidius Naso

Dactylic hexameric work: Metamorphoses

Rocketman

First launch: March 16, 1926

Patents: 214

37th U.S. President

Only President to resign from office

Brought down by the Watergate scandal

Raconteur, Statesman, Horndog

Diplomat to: France

Kite discovery: Electricity

Monk, Trendsetter

Theses: 95

Good: God

I'm sorry, WHAT IS mancrush.com?

Compelling in-game interviews: None

Belittling retorts: 3,978

Chinese Military Strategist

Author of The Art of War

Translation: "Master Sun"

Renowned Highjumper

Inventor of the Fosbury Flop

1968 Gold Medalist

Serbian Inventor

Patron Saint of Modern Electricity

"The man who invented the twentieth century"

Troublemaker

Primary adversary: Mr. Wilson

Cartoon forefather of mischief

Lieutenant-Colonel T.E. Lawrence

Autobiography: Seven Pillars of Wisdom

Nationality: Scottish

Antarctic Expeditioner

Vessel: Endurance

Poles encountered: 1

Ice-bound Waterbug

Rookie goals: 30

Nationality: Czech

Castillian Hombre

Real name: Rodrigo Diaz de Vivar

Chivalry: Second to none

King of the Monsters

Preferred havoc locale: Tokyo

Japanese translation: Gorilla-Whale

Father of Radio

Year of invention: 1895

Political views: Fascist

The Ultimate Mancrush

Will NEVER believe it's not butter

THE male supermodel of the 80's, 90's, and today

38th U.S. President

Reputation for integrity and openness

Cleaned up after Nixon

Dutch Philosopher

Equated God and Nature as the same reality

Famous fans: Albert Einstein; Obi Wan Kenobi

Ambitious Roman

Back-Stabbing Friends: 1

Rome, circa 75 BC

American Actor

Best known for playing Hawkeye Pierce on M*A*S*H

Author of Never Have Your Dog Stuffed

Mr. Baseball

Position: Catcher

Location: Jusssssst a bit outside

Spanish New World Explorer

Swath scoured: Southwest

Literal translation: Cow's head

Slow-witted Yeti

AKA: Bumble

Least Favorite Movie: An Inconvenient Truth

Fictional Undercover Operative

Master of the art of subterfuge

Guile matched only by the White Spy

American Politician, Founding Father

First Chief Justice of the Supreme Court

Hometown: New York, NY

Obstinate Man Child

Refused to grow up

Currently CEO Peter Pan Bus Lines, Inc.

Man in Tights

Residence: Sherwood Forest

Posse: The Merry Men

Philosopher and Poet

Author of "The Prince"

The end justifies the means?

Such is Mango!

Oh, to be Mango! What to be me?!

You can't a-have-a de Mango!

Lakota Sioux Leader

Routed: General Custer

Buried at: Fort Yates

Doing the Things a Particle Can

What's He Like: Not Important

Forms: Dot & Speck

American Politician

3rd Vice President of the United States

Outdueled Alexander Hamilton

Role Model

House volume: Full

Intimate with: Aunt Becky

Physicist

Indispensible theory: Relativity

Regret: Atom bomb advocacy

Astronomer

Theory: Heliocentricity

Drank from: The vessel that stank

Arcade Game Character

Dislikes: Apparitions

Clearly malnourished

Lunar Scout Pilot

Father: Ole Kirk Christiansen

Smile: Eternal

God of Wine

Represented the benefits of intoxication

Greek name: Dionysus

Created sideburns, elevated facial hair to an Art.

Twice refused command of the Army of the Potomac.

Kicked ass for the greater glory of the Union.

Corps of Discovery Leader

Sidekick: William Clark

Cause of Death: Multiple Gunshots

Poet & Prophet

White college kids inspired: 235,711

February 6, 1945 - May 11, 1981

He is Keith Hernandez

Off-Color Comments: 1

Needs help moving.

First emperor of the Roman Empire

Ruled from 27 BC to 14 AD

Namesake for the month of August

King of the Huns

Primary foe: Roman Empire

Reputation: Subjective

Malkovich Malkovich

Malkovich: Malkovich

Malkovich, Malkovich Malkovich?

Will power: Lacking

Attire: Oversized Diaper

Theme: Sabre Dance

Nintendo Ice Hockey

Weaknesses: Speed, Agility, Erectile Disfunction

Strengths: Brute force, thick mustache

Signer of the Declaration of Independence

Associate Justice of the Supreme Court

Represented: Maryland

Carthaginian Commander

Culled a crucial conquest at Cannae

Couldn't conclusively cover Carthage, ultimately