Roman Poet and Philosopher

Wrote De Rerum Natura

Possibly the world's first atheist

First elected leader of South Africa

Pre-Presidency prison term: 27 years

Also known as: Madiba

10th U.S. President

Nickname: His Accidency

Notable accomplishment: Annexation of Texas

Man in Tights

Residence: Sherwood Forest

Posse: The Merry Men

8th U.S. President

Nickname: Old Kinderhook

Only President with English as his second language

Everyman Hero

Skill: Funny Faces

Battles: Merrie England, Drink

The Hunchback of Notre Dame

Enjoys: Bell ringing, not hearing

Should probably see a chiropractor

Occultist Everyman

Arcana: Major

Known For: Folly, Extravagance, Intoxication

Ancient Latin Orator

Name meaning: Chickpea

Nemesis: Marc Antony

The Man of Steel

Alternate occupation: Reporter

Favored heroin: Lois Lane

Our Lord and Savior

Miracles: 12,875 and counting

Omnipresent

Novelist

Noted alcholic

Seminal work: The Great Gatsby

9th U.S. President

Shortest Presidential Term in US History: 31 Days!

Mancrush-Worthy Nickname: Tippecanoe

The Father of History

Alternate moniker: The Father of Lies

Exclusively known for 'The Histories'

Serbian Inventor

Patron Saint of Modern Electricity

"The man who invented the twentieth century"

Corps of Discovery Leader

Sidekick: William Clark

Cause of Death: Multiple Gunshots

Homo Erectus

Age: 250,000 - 400,000 years

Hometown: Beijing, China

Spanish Conquistador

First European to the Mississippi River

Like they wouldn't have found that anyway...

Steals Hamburgers

In Brazil, Hamburglar is known as the Papaburguer

Only says "Robble, robble, robble"

American Politician, Founding Father

First Chief Justice of the Supreme Court

Hometown: New York, NY

Renowned Cellist

Heritage: French/Chinese

Grammys: 15

Dutch Philosopher

Equated God and Nature as the same reality

Famous fans: Albert Einstein; Obi Wan Kenobi

Mythical Roman Stud

Labors: 12

Father: Zeus

Man of La Mancha

Sidekick: Sancho Panza

Nemesis: Windmills

Ancient Greek Historian

Coined the term "Manus Crux"

Admired: Jeterius

Father of Radio

Year of invention: 1895

Political views: Fascist

Personification of the U.S.A

Wants YOU to join the U.S. Army

Is actually Canadian

Malkovich Malkovich

Malkovich: Malkovich

Malkovich, Malkovich Malkovich?

Circumnavigator

Voyages: 5

Felled by: Filipino Natives

Uncle Shelby

Location: Where the Sidewalk Ends

Best Song: A Boy Named Sue

Prominant Statesman, Admiral, and Snacker

Nickname: Homeslice

Cutlery used: None

Renaissance Man

Notable work: Mona Lisa

Cleverly crafted: Shroud of Turin

Confederate General

Best bud: Robert E. Lee

Killed by: Friendly fire

Robin the Chicken-Hearted

Steer: Coconut Shells

Capital of Assyria: Unknown

Castillian Hombre

Real name: Rodrigo Diaz de Vivar

Chivalry: Second to none

Yankee Great

Doubles power: Waning

Double chin: Waxing

Dutch Painter

Movement: De Stijl

Possibly guilty of being a square

Mr. Baseball

Position: Catcher

Location: Jusssssst a bit outside

World renowned drawing by Leonardo da Vinci

Study of the proportions of the (male) human bod

On display at Gallerie dell Accademia in Venice

Great White Whale

Nemesis: Captain Ahab

A metaphor for life, man

Poet & Prophet

White college kids inspired: 235,711

February 6, 1945 - May 11, 1981

26th U.S. President

Cavalry regiment: Rough Riders

Trusts busted: Countless

Nintendo Ice Hockey

Weaknesses: Speed, Agility, Erectile Disfunction

Strengths: Brute force, thick mustache

Uber Tuber

Shaves faster than any man

Gets a little spud for Mrs. Potato Head

American Actor

Best known for playing Hawkeye Pierce on M*A*S*H

Author of Never Have Your Dog Stuffed

Conquistador

Primarily slaughtered: Aztecs

Mujer: La Malinche

The USS Constitution

Oldest commissioned ship still in service

Born: Boston, MA - 22 July 1798

The Father of Numbers

Ionian Mathematician and Philosopher

Best known theorem: Pythagorean

Signer of the Declaration of Independence

Associate Justice of the Supreme Court

Represented: Maryland

Carthaginian Commander

Culled a crucial conquest at Cannae

Couldn't conclusively cover Carthage, ultimately