Men Pending Approval

The Mancrush Integrity will review these entries and either welcome them to the immortal ranking or cast them into oblivion.

Parappa the Rapper

anonymous

Funky Fresh Virtual Canine

Mentor: Chop Chop Master Onion

He's gotta believe!

Marcel Duchamp

anonymous

Dadaist Extraordinaire

Hobbies: Taking photos of urinals, chess

Gave the Mona Lisa a mustache

Billy Corgan

anonymous

Smashing Pumpkin

Still angst-ridden at 45 years of age

Still just a rat in cage

Sterling Archer

anonymous

ISIS Sercret Agent

Residence: Danger Zone

Middle Name: Mallory

Russell Crowe

anonymous

Three oscar nominations in a row 19

One of the greatest living actor

He's a badass!

Dream

anonymous

Well-Known Anthropomorphic Personifcation

AKA: Morpheus, Oneiros, The Sandman

Look-Alike: Robert Smith

Rex Manning

anonymous

Dated Pop Sensation

Say No More, Mon Amour

What? No applause?

Jake Ward

anonymous

Sex Addict

Paedophile

Serial Rapist

Robert Downey Jr.

anonymous

Scandalous Actor

Iron Man, Sherlock Holmes, Charlie Chaplin

Never goes full retard

Kilgore Trout

anonymous

Science Fiction Writer

Authored 'The Gutless Wonder'

Biggest Fan: Billy Pilgrim

Wassily Kandinsky

anonymous

Russian Expressionist

Studied at the University of Moscow

Likened art to be like music

Luigi

anonymous

Second Banana of Video Game Fame

15 Minutes of Fame: Luigi's Mansion

Advantages over brother: Thinner, Jumps Higher

Lou Reed

anonymous

Singer, Songwriter, Rocker

Band: The Velvet Underground

Managed by Andy Warhol

Horace

anonymous

Roman Poet

Carpe Diem

Popular with patriots

Thomas Pynchon

anonymous

Long Island Writer

V, The Crying of Lot 49, Gravity's Rainbow

Complexity of Novels: Out of this World

Donald Glover

anonymous

Childish Gambino

YouTube Channel: Derrick Comedy

Hit Sitcom: Community

Hideki Tojo

anonymous

WWII-Era Japanese Leader

Executed in 1948

Leader of the Taisei Yokusankai

Peter Lorre

anonymous

Sinister Hungarian Actor

The Maltese Falcon, M, Casablanca

Died in 1964

Captain Nemo

anonymous

Captain of the Nautilus

Indian Royalty,

Can be found 20,000 leagues under the sea

Jean-Michel Basquiat

anonymous

Graffiti Artist

Same Old Shit

Region: Brooklyn

Harvey Keitel

anonymous

Actor

Appeared in Every Film 1991-1996

I once saw a rabbit that looked just like him

Gustav Klimt

anonymous

Vienna Painter

Famous for The Kiss

Poorly Received Portrayer: John Malkovich

Ansel Adams

anonymous

Photographer

Hangout: Yosemite National Park

Saved America for future Americans

Homestar Runner

anonymous

Everybody! Everybody!

Baleeted? Delteated? Del Taco?

Diet: Marshmallows, Melonade

John McEnroe

anonymous

Ill-Tempered Tennis Player

Cameo: The Lonely Island's 'I Just Had Sex'

Retired: 1992

Ralph Wiggum

anonymous

I Dig the Wig

Choo Choo Chooses You

Off Limits: Deep End of the Sandbox

Count Dracula

anonymous

Classic Monster

Preferred Breakfast: Count Chocula

Residence: Transylvania

Chiang Kai-shek

anonymous

Taiwanese President

Party: Kuomintang

Opponent to Mao Zedong

John Williams

anonymous

Film Composer

Responsible for 53% of your favorite soundtracks

Preferred composer of Steven Spielberg

John Edward

anonymous

Apparent Psychic

TV Show: Crossing Over

The Biggest Douche in the Universe

Zeus

anonymous

God of Gods

Main Biddie: Hera

Voice provided by Rip Torn

Herbert Hoover

anonymous

31st U.S. President

Public Work: Hoover Dam

Indirectly responsible for Hoovervilles

Boris Yeltsin

anonymous

Drunk World Leader

Memoirs: Midnight Diaries

Missing two fingers

Ollie Williams

anonymous

Quahog Weatherman

Forecast: It's gon' rain!

Voice of Phil LaMarr

Robin Williams

anonymous

Matt Damon's therapist

Aladdin's genie

...and Mrs. Doubtfire

Damon Albarn

anonymous

Britpop King

Musician for Blur, Gorillaz, and more

WOO HOO!

Dr. Seuss

anonymous

Political Cartoonist, Children's Writer

Born: Theodor Seuss Geisel

Dish Invented: Green Eggs and Ham

Michael Bolton

anonymous

Initech Employee and Disgruntled Worker

Worst enemies: The other Michael Bolton, printers

Why should I change? He's he one who sucks.

Evel Knievel

anonymous

Rhyming Daredevil

Successfully sued Kanye West

Son: Robbie Knievel

Tim Berners-Lee

anonymous

Internet Founder

Although, Al Gore took the credit

Responsible for all too much of your time

Jiro Ono

anonymous

Sushi Master

Work Ethic: Outstanding

Acclaim from Anthony Bourdain, Joel Robuchon

Jerry Lewis

anonymous

The Nutty Professor

Buddy: Dean Martin

Did not sing 'Great Balls of Fire'

R. Kelly

anonymous

R&B Musical Artist

Unique Hobby: Urinating on Minors

Unique Belief: The Ability to Fly

Oscar Niemeyer

anonymous

Long-Living Brazilian Architect

Interests: Communism, Cigars

Projects: Brasilia, The UN

Eros Ramazzotti

anonymous

Italian Pop Sensation

Parla con me

Worked with Pavarotti himself

David Icke

anonymous

Conspiracy Theorist

Believes reptilians control Earth

Exposing the truth?

Hobbes

anonymous

Philosophical Tiger

Fictional, but tons of personality

Pouncing Skills: Extraordinary

Calvin

anonymous

Imaginative Youngster

Altar Egos: Spaceman Spiff, Stupendous Man, Etc.

Clones: 4

Michael Crichton

anonymous

Popular Fiction Writer

Originally studied to be a doctor

Jurassic Park, Andromeda Strain, Timeline

Brandon Flowers

anonymous

Lead Singer of The Killers

Mormon Musical Master

Some call him Mr. Brightside...

Jeff Mangum

anonymous

Neutral Milk Hotel Band Leader

Cult Status: Legendary

An inspiration to hipsters everywhere

Steve Stifler

anonymous

The Stifmeister

Stifler's Mom: Quite the MILF

Reunited at last in American Reunion

Kyle Broflovski

anonymous

South Park's Token Jew

Christmas Hero: Mr. Hankey

You know, I learned something today

Eric Cartman

anonymous

Cheesy Poofs Lover

Proudest moment: Feeding a kid his parents

Screw you guys, he's going home

Stan Marsh

anonymous

More like Stan DARSH

The Second Coming of L. Ron Hubbard

On-and-Off Girlfriend: Wendy Testaburger

Noah Webster

anonymous

Dictionary Founder

Official Job Title: Lexicographer

Enrolled at Yale: 16 years of age

Maurice Moss

anonymous

Works in IT Department, Reynholm Industries

Has a nice tnetennba

Good at science, bad at everything else

Morrissey

anonymous

Former The Smiths frontman now gone solo.

A cynic if ever there was one. The pope of mope.

But it's OK because he's so devilishly handsome.

Jerry Springer

anonymous

Talk Show Host

Typical Guests: Transvestites, Rednecks, The KKK

JERRY! JERRY! JERRY! JERRY!

Cthulhu

anonymous

Beloved Pagan God

Creator: H.P. Lovecraft

Residence: Pacific Ocean

Guy Fawkes

anonymous

Gunpowder Plot Mastermind

Future Inspirations: V, Anonymous

Remember, remember, the fifth of November

Mickey Mouse

anonymous

Disney's Lovable Rodent

Debut: Steamboat Willie

Present-Day: Mickey Mouse Clubhouse

Muhammad Yunus

anonymous

Economist, Nobel Laureate

Claim to Fame: Microfinance

Surprising Cameo: The Simpsons

Rodney Dangerfield

anonymous

Classic Comedian

Respect: 0

Side Job: Rapper

Robert Loggia

anonymous

Orange Juice Aficionado

R as in 'Robert Loggia'

Acting since 1956

John Fogerty

anonymous

Band: Creedence Clearwater Revival

Voice: Raspy

Location: Down on the Corner

Ash Ketchum

anonymous

Pokemon Trainer

Preferred Pokemon: Pikachu

Friends: Misty, Brock, Prof. Oak

Yakov Smirnoff

anonymous

USSR-Born Comic

Variety: Not too much

In soviet Russia....

Alex DeLarge

anonymous

A Clockwork Orange Protagonist

Interests: Rape, Ultra-Violence, Beethoven

"I was cured all right."

Russell Crowe

anonymous

Beautifully Minded Actor

Underrated Film: Romper Stomper

Personality: Arrogant

Kevin Federline

anonymous

K-Fed

Fan Base: ????

Failed Track: Popozao

Macho Man Randy Savage

anonymous

Pro Wrestler

Hit Rap Song: Be a Man

OH YEEEEEEEEEAHHH!!

Scatman John

anonymous

Stuttering Scat Singer

Turned a disability into a talent

Ski-Ba-Bop-Ba-Dop-Bop

Alan Moore

anonymous

Graphic Novelist, Wizard, Anarchist

Famous Work: Watchmen

Another One: V For Vendetta

Jonas Salk

anonymous

Polio Vaccine Discoverer

Also tried to create an AIDS Vaccine

Polio Hall of Fame Inductee

Joe Biden

anonymous

U.S. Vice President #47

Former Stutterer

Wives: Neilia Biden, Jill Biden

Ingmar Bergman

anonymous

Swedish Film Director

Signature Piece: The Seventh Seal

TV Series: Scenes from a Marriage

Usain Bolt

anonymous

Record-Setting Jamaican Sprinter

Fastest Man Ever

Olympic Gold Medals: 6

Bret Easton Ellis

anonymous

Modern Satirist

Part of the literary Brat Pack

Writes about spoiled rich people

The Notorious B.I.G.

anonymous

California Rapper

AKA Biggie Smalls AKA Big Poppa

Theory: Mo Money = Mo Problems

Tobias Funke

anonymous

Husband, Father, Uncle

Just Blue Himself

Gobias: As in 'Gobias' some coffee

Tom Petty

anonymous

Frontman of the Heartbreakers

Opposed to backing down

Supergroup: Traveling Wilburys

Friedrich Engels

anonymous

Communism Co-Founder

Played second banana to Marx

Beard: Impressive

Albert Camus

anonymous

Philosopher

Birthplace: French Algeria

Schools: Absurdism, Nihilism

Ted Turner

anonymous

Media Mogul

Great TV Series: Captain Planet

Mental Illness: Bipolar Disorder

Thom Yorke

anonymous

Singer, Guitarist, Songwriter

Creep, Weirdo, Etc.

Eyelid Style: Drooping

Isaac Hayes

anonymous

Deep-Voiced Funk Musician

Renowned Soundtrack: Shaft

Voice Actor: Chef from South Park

Joan Miro

anonymous

Highly Regarded Surrealist

Homeland: Spain

Style: Often Abstract

Chris Farley

anonymous

SNL Star of the Nineties

Critical Role: Billy Madison's Bus Driver

Cohort: David Spade

Ian Curtis

anonymous

Suicidal Joy Division Singer

Love Will Tear Us Apart

Biopic: Control

Antoni Gaudi

anonymous

Brilliant Architect

Responsible for much of Barcelona's beauty

A very strong Catholic

Albrecht Durer

anonymous

Great Artist of the North Renaissance

The German Leonardo

Residence: Nuremberg

Thurston Moore

anonymous

Member of Sonic Youth

Noise Rock Pioneer

There Something Down There Sugar Kane

Kunta Kinte

anonymous

Fictional Gambian

LeVar Burton before Star Trek

Christian Name: Toby

Howard Marks

anonymous

Mr. Nice

A Sophisticated Drug Baron

Currently On Tour

Segata Sanshiro

anonymous

Judo Master and Sega Saturn Enthusiast

Video Game: Shinken Yugi

Has his own theme song

Jim Jones

anonymous

Peoples Temple Head

Death: Jonestown, Guyana

Drink the Kool-Aid

John Lurie

anonymous

Lounge Lizard, Fisherman, Artist, Actor

Cohort: Jim Jarmusch

Russian Internet Meme: Bear Surprise

Neil Diamond

anonymous

Jewish Pop Singer

Signature Song: Sweet Caroline

Seminal Work: Saving Silverman

Bruce Willis

anonymous

Bald Actor

Sixth Sense: Dead the whole time

Dies hard with a vengeance

The Scream

anonymous

Kevin McCallister

Edward Munch's Magnum Opus

Location: Oslo, Norway

Walt Whitman

anonymous

Leaves of Grass Poet

Sexuality: Possibly Bisexual

O Captain! My Captain!

Allen Ginsberg

anonymous

Beat Writer

Popular Book: Howl

Religion: Buddhism

Chris Martin

anonymous

Coldplay Leader

Favorite Colour: Yellow

Significant Other: Gwyneth Paltrow

Rene Magritte

anonymous

Witty Artist

Self-Portrait: The Son of Man

Ceci n'est pas une mancrush

Big Boy

Serves burgers the size of your head

Greeting travelers across the Continental USA

Novak Djokovic

anonymous

Serbian Tennis Pro

Grand Slams: 5

Medals: Bronze

The Tick

anonymous

Patrick Warburton's Greatest Role

Sidekick: Arthur

Spoon!

Spike Lee

anonymous

Director, Actor, Basketball Enthusiast

Please baby, please baby, baby baby please!

Does the Right Thing

Justin Bieber

anonymous

Canadian Teen Idol

Usage of the word 'baby': 56 times

The Most Hated Man on Earth

Donnie Darko

anonymous

Schizophrenic Angsty Teen

Imaginary Friend: Frank the Bunny

Played by Jake Gyllenhaal

John Hancock

anonymous

Flamboyant Declaration of Independence Signer

Actually, It Was Herbie Hancock

1st Governor of Massachusetts

Anthony Kiedis

anonymous

Red Hot Chili Pepper

Only Friend: The City of Angels

Dreams of Californication

Jeff Goldblum

anonymous

The Fly

Verminous Skumm on Captain Planet

Was in two Jurassic Park movies

Herman Melville

anonymous

Moby-Dick Author

Interesting Character: Bartleby the Scrivener

Almost Completely Unheard Of When He Died

Ice Cube

anonymous

N.W.A. Member and Solo Rapper

Not to be Confused With: Ice-T or Vanilla Ice

Currently Working On: Family-Friendly Movies

Al Capone

anonymous

American Gangster

Former Alcatraz Resident

Chicago Outfit Leader

Andy Samberg

anonymous

SNL Alumnus

Rapper for The Lonely Island

Mancrushing like a boss

James Dean

anonymous

Rebel Without a Cause

Died at 24

Only famous for three films

Gary Numan

anonymous

New Wave Artist

Safe Haven: Cars

Posed the Question: Are 'Friends' Electric?

L. Ron Hubbard

anonymous

Sci-Fi Writer and Scientologist Prophet

Worships: Xenu

Hit Novel and Movie: Battlefield Earth

Boris Pasternak

anonymous

Russian Author

Popular Novel: Doctor Zhivago

Angered the USSR by winning a Nobel Prize

Sam Kinison

anonymous

Stand-Up Comic

Signature Characteristic: His Scream

Cause of Death: Car Accident

Eminem

anonymous

The Real Slim Shady

Relation to M&M's: None

He's not afraid to take a stand

Adam

anonymous

The First Man Ever Created

Original Sin: Blamed on Eve

Adam's Rib: Turned Into a Woman

Guy Fieri

anonymous

The Next Food Network Star

TV Show: Diners, Dive-Ins, and Dives

Amount of Time To Win It: 1 Minute

Robert Smith

anonymous

Lead Singer of The Cure

In Love On: Friday

Signature Look: Gothic

Dan Aykroyd

anonymous

Ghostbuster and Conehead

On a Mission from God

Canadian

Stanley Kubrick

anonymous

Artistic Film Director

The Shining, Full Metal Jacket, A Clockwork Orange

Obsession: Bathrooms

Aphex Twin

anonymous

Windowlicker

Birth Name: Richard Davis James

Genre: ElectronicAmbientAcid Techno

William S. Burroughs

anonymous

20th Century Writer

Famous Book: Naked Lunch

Cameo Appearance: Drugstore Cowboy

Joseph McCarthy

anonymous

Personification of Anti-Communism

Nickname: Joe

Inspired the term, McCarthyism

David Cameron

anonymous

Current Prime Minister of the United Kingdom

Britain's Youngest PM

Party: Conservative

Stephen King

anonymous

Famed Contemporary Horror Novelist

Whereabouts: Maine

Member of Rock Bottom Remainders

Charlton Heston

anonymous

Actor and Gun Enthusiast

Acting Credits: 130

Played Moses and Judah Ben-Hur

Clyde Barrow

anonymous

Robbed Banks

Partner in Crime: Bonnie Parker

Portrayed by Warren Beatty

Demetri Martin

anonymous

Person.

Observational Humorist

Important Things: Brains, Chairs, Games, Etc.

Lil Jon

anonymous

King of Crunk

To the Window, To the Wall

Yeah! What? Okay!

Robert Mapplethorpe

anonymous

Controversial Photographer

Girlfriend: Patti Smith

Cause of Death: AIDS

O. Henry

anonymous

American Writer

Candy Bars Inspired: 1

Coined the Phrase "Banana Republic"

David Lynch

anonymous

Film and Television Director

Movies: Eraserhead, Blue Velvet, Mulholland Dr.

TV Show: Twin Peaks

Beck

anonymous

Alternative Musician and Un Perdedor

Albums: Odelay, Sea Change, Guero

Religion: Scientology

Jim Jarmusch

anonymous

Independent filmmaker

Stranger than Paradise, Ghost Dog, Broken Flowers

Founding member of "The Sons of Lee Marvin"

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