Q & A with The Artful Dodger

Little is known about The Artful Dodger's true past. Nicknamed "The Artful Dodger" for his boyish wit and charm, Jack Dawkins was recruited by Mancrush.com talent evaluators and Ambrose Mannington after finding the rogue typing lascivious poetry from a typewriter on the streets of New York City. Noting his penchant for iambic pentameter, they put him to work in the basement of Mancrush's headquarters as an intern in charge of "Punctuation and Syntax Beautification".

It was here where his true skills began to emerge. Thanks to an analog radio and primitive television permanently turned on in the Mancrush basement, he was inundated with pop culture, eventually leading to an expertise of this subject matter. His lack of any formal education allowed him to freely express opinion without any thought of journalistic responsibility. His talent was undeniable. After ratings came back stunningly positive from an introductory chat, he was immediately promoted and took a permanent position voicing his many opinions the Mancrush masses...

Send in your questions and comments for The Artful Dodger.

Ask The Artful Dodger!  - 05/20/2008     Archive

Rebecca (LES, NY): 
What is the mancrushingest sports team right now? Who is the most mancrushable team of all time?

The Artful Dodger: I am going to cheat a little bit and say that the 2006 Italian World Cup team is well beyond any other competition for this one. Up and down, every one of these guys looked like they stepped off of a fashion runway and onto the soccer pitch. I've never seen so many beautiful heads of hair. And they won the World Cup to boot! I think that the standout guys would include an aging Francesco Totti, the bulldog Gennaro Gattuso and European Footballer of the Year Fabio Cannavaro. As for the Mancrushable team of all time; that was easy. The original Dream Team truly lived up to its name. Never have I seen that many legends on the court and playing together as I did in the 1992 Summer Olympics. Michael, Magic, Larry, Barkley, Stockton, The Mailman, The Admiral, The Glide, Mullin, Pippen and of course, Christian Laettner; these guys blew out every other team in the world by 40 points a game! There will never be a team that could put as many legendary players on the court as the Dream Team. It was unbelievable.

Michael (Laguna Niguel, CA): 
Can you crush rappers who have "Lil" or "Boy" in their names? Would that technically be a boycrush?

The Artful Dodger: Let’s not get into semantics, Michael. Or if we’re playing by your rules, "seboytics". I'm not too sure if there should be a boycrush phenomenon; and besides, both of those guys are grown ass-men. They do what they want.

Tom Thumb (wherever): 
Pint-sized question: Prince or Emile Hirsch?

The Artful Dodger: I'd say Prince, by an inch. Ha!

George (Buffalo, NY): 
Do you have a mancrush on Dwight Schrute?

The Artful Dodger: Eh, consider me non-plussed. I like me the Alpha Male.

Stephie (Berkeley, CA): 
How many euphemisms do you have for "Man worthy of Crushing?"

The Artful Dodger: More than you can shake a stick at Stephie!

Jesse (Phoenix, AZ): 
Can you have a mancrush on your own father?

The Artful Dodger: I think that the first mancrushes a lot of guys have is on their own Dads. It's a combination of sheer awe at times and abject terror at others. You have to have some respect for the dude who taught you how to throw a baseball, and to get up and stop crying after you skinned your knee. They are usually the man you see the most by far growing up, and as the saying goes, "Familiarity breeds mancrush"...

Love the 80's (): 
Who wins in a stud contest, Steve Winwood or Huey Lewis?

The Artful Dodger: Hmmm…despite a huge crush on Winwood in the "Back in the Highlife" era, Huey Lewis takes the cake here. Movie star looks and that powerful and crooning voice make it awfully hard to say no to sweet, sweet Huey. Let's just say this Heart of Rock n’ Roll is Still Beating. Let's also say that was the worst pun ever.

Dim Fred (Chico, CA): 
What’s the lowest IQ of a potential man that you would allow yourself to crush?

The Artful Dodger: Personally it would have to be only slightly below average. Out of my Top 500 guys I can’t think of anyone who would be considered "dangerously below average". Although, arguments could be made for guys like Forrest Gump. Say, if you were into foot speed, a monosyllabic vocabulary and innocence, he'd be your ideal gentleman.

Laura (Brooklyn, NY): 
Art, if you looked in the mirror, would you be crushing that man?

The Artful Dodger: I think I make my Top 500. And that ranking gets higher after considerable amounts of alcohol.

That's all for today.

Send your questions to theartfuldodger@mancrush.com

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